I'm good, truly. Her emails were so obviously lies. That my emails were shared by my FIL with them for a laugh- he would never do that and I never talk about this situation with him. H is his son, after all. She also claimed I emailed to my BIL, which I've never done in my life.
To my way of thinking, this was the first battle I've won in a long, long time. He may have been drinking, but it was his subconscious talking. She is checking up on him by checking his texts, no trust. As I told him. No problem, no pressure.
My life, such as it is, goes on as usual tomorrow.
I'm sure things are not good in the neighborhood with them this afternoon.
I've been following your thread but haven't posted for awhile. I agree with CW that OW sounds very threatened by you. Reading what your H e-mailed you after he'd had a drink or two made me wonder what kinds of things he is saying to OW when he drinks. Alcohol has a way of lowering those inhibitions and loosening the tongue. Things can't be that rosy between them if she is contacting you. Her acting out in this situation will only serve to sharpen the contrast between you and OW. Let him miss you...........and be good to yourself. I would imagine that this interaction has stirred up some raw emotions. What are you going to do self-soothe?
I'm going to church this morning, as usual. Interestingly, she emailed me again last night late saying simply " He's not worth it". I'm not replying. As I said, they must have had a very intersting evening.
My grandson spent the night with me last night. I'm about to make some coffee and read in bed for awhile untilhe wakes up.
I'm dark. If anything interesting develops, I'll let everyone know.
Received another email from OW. This time it said, "Sorry, we just got up, You're not worth it. LOL"
So glad I went to church this morning. The sermon was aimed right at me -The Holy Wait. The scripture for the day said "I will climb my watchtower now, and wait to see what answer God will give to my complaint" Habakkuk 2: 1-3 For those of us out there, it was particularly pertinant to our sitch.
I am sorry about the OW response to you. I know that you understand that her response to you is not a reflection of you nor is it probably your H's. If it was I am sure he would not need her to speak for him.
Obviously she is concerned. She probably chitting brinks, probably insecure about where she stands in the R with your H. Poor her ...opppss.. I meant to say f*ck her ...opps again I meant to say ignore her.
Punkin - stick with what you are doing. Keep standing - keep believing keep doing what YOU feel you need to do.
One question for you Pun - who are you? Why are you standing?
God Bless Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Who am I? I'm the little girl whose Mom died when she was 14 and she was left alone. I'm the mother at 17 who stayed in school and got her diploma. I'm the mother of four who supported her kids and kept a roof over their head when their Dad abandoned us. I'm the woman who stood behind her husband everystep of the way through the last 20 years, raised the kids, welcomed the grands, made our house a home, and still survive ( although sometimes I don't know how) Why am I standing? Because that's just who the hell I am. Because I respect my vows to my husband and God, and for some reason, still love the SOB.
I was fortunate enough that the OW my H was in a PA with was not about to do battle with me...pretty much when I confronted her she backed down and realized that life with my H would never be uncomplicated if she stayed with him...it fizzled out eventually...I guess she was in the picture for about a year or so...anyway...H had EA with a few women several years before the big bomb where he left me...there was one that was particularly persistant to keep in touch with my H...long story short she finally drifted off too...
Moral of the story is that the OW will tire quickly if she is not the center of the universe...that is the type that they are...they feel empowered to know a man is leaving everything dear to him for HER...so if he looks back, shows interest in his family at all...well, yeah! she is going to feel very insecure and start behaving desperately...
So what do you do? Nothing...just get on with your own life...empower yourself with your children and friends...work on what you need to feel like the best person you can be...
I can tell you the reason you are still love the "SOB"...it is because what you feel is TRUE love...the kind that "endures all things"...it is not JUST romantic love...it is long-lasting and in the proper environment...it is FOREVER!
You don't just "unlove" someone because they are hurting you and they are doing things that you may never have imagined...it just doesn't work like that...but, it doesn't mean that you stop living and growing personally...NO, this is the time that you can excell in that personal growth!
Family is important to you...and no matter what happens your FAMILY will know that...and that is the best gift you can give them...
H may come around...and he may not...but it will take a long time before you know...it can't be rushed...he needs to do his own soul searching...right now he is self medicating with OW and alcohol...and who knows what else...he is doing this because he is not happy...and if you had really been the source of his unhappiness he wouldn't need to be self-medicating, now would he? This is proof that his unhappiness is inside him...not in you...so hold your head high...he is proving over and over that you were not the source of his unhappiness...
I know we all share some portion in what happened in the marriage but NONE of us deserved how our spouses chose to deal with those problems...
My lil' tidbit for the day to you Punkin...hoping that this will help you ease some of your own guilt and move a few more steps forward...
