Hello, is there any one out there? I'll try to summarize as best I can. After 15 years of marital conflict over needs for affection and lovemaking (me high/her low)including a prior year+ seperation, a woman at work began making a play for me. At first I thought it was innocent flirting. She initially came to me looking for professional advice (we were both attorneys). But soon the phone calls turned personal. Coffee dates turned to lunch breaks, to drinks after work. She called me, emailed me constantly, told me how wonderful/attractive I was and eventually made it plain what she wanted. One night after a few drinks we had a makeout session in her car. I quickly realized my mistake and said no more. But she would persist and the pattern would continue. This went on for about 2 months reaching it's peak when we planned a rendevouse at a professional seminar. I soon realized I couldn't do it and said it was over. She finally seemed to be in agreement. 3 days later her husband appeared at my door after I left for work and told my W that I was having an affair with his wife. I initially denied everything ("we are just friends and professional colleagues") but eventually admitted to becoming emotionally involved and the makeout session. After an extremely tense couple of weeks my W demanded that I move out. I complied and moved out 3 days before Christmas, 2009. Two months later she filed for divorce. I have told her that I do not want a divorce that I still love her and want to keep my family (two boys 15 and 9) together. My W is like a stone and will hear none of it. I have filed an answer to her petition. We have agreed on everything but I have told her that the divorce is her baby and therefore she must draw up the settlement agreement and I will review and sign when all is done. My W is also an attorney. It is now September and nothing more has been done. I asked her recently (while together for my older sons birthday) if her mind was still made up and she responded with a polite "yes" and said nothing more. My head says it is over and I must move on. My heart says never give up. I see lot's of advice here for the cheatee but nothing for the cheater who wants to save his marriage. I am torn between moving on and doing what I can (but what?) to try to save my marriage. Please help me? Final facts for thought. W said if I had been honest up front instead of denying she would have forgiven but now the trust is broken. She reconnected with a college friend in January and now refers to him as her "boyfriend". He lives in the northwest we live in the southeast. Sorry so long.
