I walked into the kitchen and sent S13 outside to work on something.
She opened with, “This is my house too and I want my computer in the living room!”
I countered with, “We agreed that you’d be temporarily living in the basement until you find another place to stay so your computer should be there for you too.”
She about lost it and started yelling and crying. Playing the blame game again, saying it must be nice to be Mr. Perfect, blah blah. I told her that was not constructive and I didn’t have the time or inclination to discuss anything if she wasn’t calm.
She then tried the old, “well the kids’ computer can’t stay in the living room since S13 will just watch TV instead of doing his homework. I explained that since she left the TV is almost never on and then only after dinner. SHE is the TV junky. So, she tried a different tack. Said that since the house is half hers anyway, she’ll put the computer where she wants it and watch TV upstairs any time she wants.
OK, I was starting to lose my cool at this point so I said she could put it wherever she wants but I would make sure there was no internet connection unless it was in the basement and I was tired of fighting about something so trivial when we have much bigger issues right now.
She then started dredging up her version of the past. I stopped her and explained that the past couldn’t be changed and I had already apologized for my part and it is time to learn from our mistakes and move forward.
She then said that she didn’t want to come back the last time I told her the boundaries (total transparency, no contact with OM, change number, etc) and she said she didn’t want to then since the kids would have more freedom then she would. I said, well, the kids never went out and got another Dad and cheated on me and moved out. Vindictive, I know.
She then tried the old “My Mother just died and I couldn’t deal with you then.” I reminded her that her Mother passed away the end of June. She started the affair in August of last year and I found out and she left the beginning of June.
So, since that didn’t work, she tried the old “I just want to come back and work on us” routine, but it was obvious that she was just trying to “win” so I said I am not ready at this time with everything she has pulled in the past few months.
Honestly, my internal/individual time limit for her to come back has about reached its end.
Me-44 W-41 M-20yrs S13 D18 ILYBINILWY-June 2010 (On our Anniversary)
