Originally Posted By: Truegritter
You are focused right now, as we all are when when this awful thing happens to us
ON YOUR WIFE

Let her go for now. Detach.
I cannot guarantee you that you will save your M.
I can guarantee you will understand things you never knew.
You will be a better man.
You will heal. Truly heal.


Thanks, Gritter.
They are obvious but I sometimes lose my focus. It's funny that I've joked about the Old Spice commercial in the past and the one line that 'triggers' that image. Yet, I just noticed how appropriate it is:

"NOW BACK TO ME!"

Originally Posted By: Truegritter

You are not your M.
You are not your Divorce if that happens.
You are not someone your W threw away.
But
What are you?Takes work my friend. And you
...are wasting time looking at your W.


Again, valid and appreciated.
But I hope that by appreciating the top three lines and feeling better about it doesn't mean that now I'm all about 'validation from Gritter' eek

Originally Posted By: Truegritter

Set your expectations only for yourself and set them above the average
What actions and decisions speak to the man you aspire to be.
These have nothing to do with your W and what she is doing.
This is what YOU do. Regardless of how she acts or doesn't act.

Decide for YOURSELF to take a different course.
Not to get your W back.
To stand up for you and what you believe.
Which speaks to who you are?
Fight or flight?
Which takes more courage? Which requires strength and honor?


I have NEVER been a "flight" guy unless it involves an aircraft. My personal stance has always been "If it's important to me, I will fight for it rather than quit"

Downfall has been over-loyal; and not knowing WHEN it is time to actually accept a loss. I have also over-committed resources to these fights to the detriment of the other areas of my life.

I have been so focused on some of the 'battles', I have failed to notice my losses elsewhere.

Something to stay aware of.