A man in full

[ericmsant2]

Cat

I know that you know me better than that. I did not come here to stop standing. I came here to stand and to save my M. What I have realized (and you amongst many help me realize this) is that in order to stand in order to even decide if and when your stand is done (if it ever is). One must heal, one must realize there issues and change them. One must get to a place of peace. A place when you realize that EVERYONE has choices. That everyone is entitled to make there own choice. That we do not have to agree with someone else choice. That we are responsible for our choices and the consequences of them.

A place where you can honestly look at the M and make choice for you from a place of emotional health.

I now understand that the choice to stand is a very personal one. I know understand that none of us can control the future or the actions of another. As I have posted in the past. I actually do not even know if I am still standing. What I know is that I am healing, growing and still love my wife very much. I now know and understand that she will make the choices that she believes she must do for her. Do I agree with them - no. I do love her enough to understand that she must and is entitled to learn from her mistakes (if they even really are mistakes). That she is entitled to be the person that she wants to be and that if I truly love her that I give her this space.

Finally, I reread what I wrote and can see where it may have come across as I am promoting not standing or that I can here not to stand. That is far from the truth; however I can see how you may have interpreted it that way. Funny I learn something from you every time we interact. What I learned today was to re-read what I write before I hit submit.

Sometimes...tone and intent can get lost in a post and clearly that is what happened with my post.

I hope this clarifies my position, which is that by standing we allow our spouse to heal and work thru there issues, while we do the same.

Eric