Still trying to find my way

[Mystik]

H called back, is getting DS at noon. He asked if he could pick up DS the Wednesday after we get back instead of that Tuesday because he didn't want to have to drive to my mother's. I pointed out that Wednesday was the first day of school and my niece will probably be watching DS so he won't have to go that extra 10 minutes distance to my mother's. He said that he will pick up DS on Tuesday then, and asked what time DS started school on Wednesday. I told him school starts at 9 but I have to drop him off at quarter to eight. H exclaimed that was early and I said yes it was, and that I had wanted to talk to him about that.

I told him I want to get DS on a set bedtime routine, ideally in bed for 8 so we need to start meeting earlier, like around 7. H said that would mean he gets less time with DS and that's not fair to him. He asked if he would get DS on the weekends to make up for losing time during the week, I asked if he meant on his weekends. He said that getting him a for a few extra hours on his weekend would not make up for missing all that time with him during the week so I should start picking DS up at his place so he gets that extra half hour with him. I said no, that he could always do like most people I know and drive DS all the way home instead of meeting. He said that just because people I know do all the driving doesn't mean that's how it is in NYS and he doesn't know anyone who does all the driving. I pointed out that he chose to move so far away and he should have known when he moved that it would lead to more driving. He retorted that I chose to stay where I am and it's not a good school district. I responded that as a school district it has improved, and I don't know yet what I'm going to do regarding next school year. I said that DS is going to have homework now, is H going to work with him on that? H said of course he is, and I pointed out that DS will most likely want to play video games. H asked if I ever let DS play video games and I said of course, when he asks but that is hardly ever. H said it's probably because I make him play by himself. I said no, that I do play with DS but he prefers the games H lets him play, Halo and Crackdown.

I said that while ideally DS would get home in time to go to bed for 8:00 it wasn't fair to meet at 7:30 and expect him to come home and go straight to bed so I was willing to compromise and put DS to bed at 8:30. I pointed out that it's only a half hour difference than what we normally meet at now. H said he'd think about it and let me know.

If H gives me a hard time I guess it's back to family court we go. And if we go back to court I might as well pursue all the money he owes me for DS's out of pocket medical and childcare expenses. Why can't he see past his own selfish wants and see what is best for DS? And going to bed late is not good for him, nor is not paying me back for the expenses incurred causing me to be tight on money and not be able to afford to go school shopping and such until after vacation. I had this vacation planned for months, was anticipating H paying me back long before now and instead I got screwed. H is holding the money hostage until I give him what he wants, which is a divorce. That's blackmail.