Unfortunately TMW, you have to go through the pain to get to the other side. You have to experience the hurt and boy - he has really hurt you. We all know this pain. It is awful. But you are wise to keep going to your C to find out why you let him do this to you repeatedly. And experienced this heart wrenching pain over and over. Surely you lost feeling for him each time he did this. Surely you knew it was time long, long ago. But if you don't get to the bottom of this and really grieve your loss and move past it - you might be inclined to let him come back again when the new girl finally figures out she has a loser on her hands and kicks him out. He will try to come back to you. Your C should help you prepare for this event.
I am blunt for a reason. Not because I don't care - because I hope it is my words that will get through to you and that you will remember. If I didn't care - I would not write.
I'm sorry for your pain. I truly hope you can move to a better place (in your heart) soon.
