From June until the middle of august me and the stbexw had very minimal contact now she is starting to call and act more friendly and everytime I see her I realize a little more that what we had is dead never to return she is not the woman I knew, loved, and married it's over. I saw her and her new car tonight when I picked the kids up for Thursday night visitation I had to hear the kids tell me about how mom was saying om3 was so hot and they herd her tell him he was a good kisser then she ask him if she was a good kisser. Then I had to hear the kids tell me they thought om2 and his kids spent the weekend at our house because there stuff was in there rooms and there toothbrushes were in there bath room one of my twins kept telling me he talken to om2. I pray for the courts to take my kids from this they deserve better they need a mom and dad and that chance is gone for ever for them.
M40, W 37 M 11 1/2 y T 13 y D filed 5-18-10 S 5-29-10 OM1 discovered 6-5-10 Counter sued for d 6-16-10 OM2 discovered 8-10-10 OM3, OM4 4 kids 10, 7, & 3 D date 10-14-10 http://tiny.cc/mxzct
I have a question tonight while rideing bikes d10 ask me if I thought mom and me would ever put our family back together, I didn't know what to tell her but I didn't want to lie to her so I just told her that it didn't look like it. What would a better answer have been?
M40, W 37 M 11 1/2 y T 13 y D filed 5-18-10 S 5-29-10 OM1 discovered 6-5-10 Counter sued for d 6-16-10 OM2 discovered 8-10-10 OM3, OM4 4 kids 10, 7, & 3 D date 10-14-10 http://tiny.cc/mxzct
I am sorry about your situation. I am new here, but have read most of all of the active posts. I was down dead and buried the first four weeks of my situation until I read DR and started reading everyone's posts. I think that you are doing a remarkable job holding your chin up and taking care of you kids. After seven weeks of NC directed by my W I have finally seen the light and have let go. Your wife...well she does not deserve you. I would drop her like a brick and find someone who appreciates you for who you are and live a full and fruitful life. Your wife with her shallow needs will one day realize what she lost....but then who will care...
I am sorry about your situation. I am new here, but have read most of all of the active posts. I was down dead and buried the first four weeks of my situation until I read DR and started reading everyone's posts. I think that you are doing a remarkable job holding your chin up and taking care of you kids. After seven weeks of NC directed by my W I have finally seen the light and have let go. Your wife...well she does not deserve you. I would drop her like a brick and find someone who appreciates you for who you are and live a full and fruitful life. Your wife with her shallow needs will one day realize what she lost....but then who will care...
This is what I am trying to do one day at a time I need to always do whats best for the kids. Thanks for the reply
M40, W 37 M 11 1/2 y T 13 y D filed 5-18-10 S 5-29-10 OM1 discovered 6-5-10 Counter sued for d 6-16-10 OM2 discovered 8-10-10 OM3, OM4 4 kids 10, 7, & 3 D date 10-14-10 http://tiny.cc/mxzct
Today is Friday already, I can believe haw fast the time has past since the D bomb and separation. Tomorrow will mark 3 months since separation. The last three months have been a wild ride, I’m not sure that any decision I’ve made in that 3 months has been good or bad. I need to be strong for my kids and stay away from the STBEXW as much as possible. I am glad that she is letting me see and talk to the kids more than she was just a couple of weeks ago this is a huge improvement but it will not stop me from pushing forward with my custody case. Mrs. 40 has proven over the last three months that the only way I can have a relationship with my kids is to fight her for my rights as a parent, she is making very bad choices that I do not want my children exposed to. If all goes well in court my plan is to write a parenting plan that keeps her a part of our 4 kids lives, with boundaries to keep our kids on the strait and narrow with morals. How do you explain with you daughter that its not ok to play the field when mom is doing it. In six or seven months she will be a free woman I hope she wakes up and decides to keep her dating away from the kids. Sadly I don’t expect this to happen she was talking wedding bells with OM#1 as soon as she dumped him she started the same talk with OM # 2. I see her in a never ending string of 3 month relationships from now until the end of time, my hope is she will not involve the kids but I sure wouldn’t bet any money on that.
Sunday is oldest son’s B-Day he will be 7. Last weekend I took him to his favorite restaurant and we celebrated a week early, last night his mother asked me if I wanted him to spend the night on Sunday of course I do. I wish that she would let all of them come spend the night but at the same time I will be glad to spend some alone time with him, of all my kids he is the one I worry about keeping a good relationship with. When the wife and I first separated he pulled away from me and would not have anything to do with me. Now he is acting like his old self again, but for a while I was worried that his mother was alienating him from me. Tonight I haven’t decided what I am going to do either go out with my best friend, or go out with a old girl friend who I went and had a drink with last Sunday. I feel safe having her as my friend because if anything was ever going to happen between us it would have happened 16 or 17 years ago when we first met, we dated on and off for 3 years before I started dating the STBEXW but neither one of us ever felt the need to take that relationship to the next level. Tomorrow night I am going to the drag race’s with a group of friends its always fun but I cant or wont drink like they all do, normally I head home about 11:00 or 11:30 they always close down the races and after parties. Last week the ended up out until 6:00 am. Man I way to old for that. Sunday I will watch the 3 boys after lunch and the STBEXW and our daughter are going to a baby shower. When they leave I have not decided how to spend the evening with the B-Day boy to make his 7th the best it can be under the circumstances. Hope everyone has a good weekend.
Last edited by 40andsadintexas; 08/27/1009:35 PM.
M40, W 37 M 11 1/2 y T 13 y D filed 5-18-10 S 5-29-10 OM1 discovered 6-5-10 Counter sued for d 6-16-10 OM2 discovered 8-10-10 OM3, OM4 4 kids 10, 7, & 3 D date 10-14-10 http://tiny.cc/mxzct
As you have learned, your story is all too familiar.
The only advice I can give you is stay close to your kids and love them with all of your heart. Let them draw strength from a strong father who would do anything in the world for them and you draw strength from them without them even knowing it. I know that I do from my kids. When I'm really down and W is, seemingly, doing things to drive me purposely crazy, all I have to do is play with my wonderful kids who need me to be strong. I have never played so many video games, Barbies, monster trucks, board games, games of catch, flying kites, you name it. It has brought us closer together.
Weather or not my W and I ever reconcile, it won't change the closeness I have found with my kids. While she is out running around, they know who is taking care of them.
I am so mad I can't sleep today is my second oldest kids birthday his mother had a birthday party for him then loaded all the kids to her sisters house and told them she was going to a friends surprise bday party I drove by my house @ 1:22 this morning and there is a strange car parked at my house. Yes it's registered to a man this one I have never heard of. I took pictures back to the lawyers on Monday that's just low. Dump your kids off on there birthday so you can go party
M40, W 37 M 11 1/2 y T 13 y D filed 5-18-10 S 5-29-10 OM1 discovered 6-5-10 Counter sued for d 6-16-10 OM2 discovered 8-10-10 OM3, OM4 4 kids 10, 7, & 3 D date 10-14-10 http://tiny.cc/mxzct
My stbexw called me last week and told me I could have my 7 year old for his birthday and ask me if I wanted to watch the twins so her and d10 could go to 2 baby showers today I told her fine because I will do almost anything to get more time with the kids. Then last night d10 called me and told me that mom dumped them on her sister after s7 birthday party yesterday. I took pics of om4 car in my driveway this morning at 1:30 and again at 7:30 She brought d10 over at 5:00 and picked up the twins that's when my daughter told me they had lunch with om4 she told me his name and it mated name I got from license plate number Hope she is killing her custody case she has introduced kids to 4 friends in 3 months good Freud!
M40, W 37 M 11 1/2 y T 13 y D filed 5-18-10 S 5-29-10 OM1 discovered 6-5-10 Counter sued for d 6-16-10 OM2 discovered 8-10-10 OM3, OM4 4 kids 10, 7, & 3 D date 10-14-10 http://tiny.cc/mxzct
I took pics of om4 car in my driveway this morning at 1:30 and again at 7:30 She brought d10 over at 5:00 and picked up the twins that's when my daughter told me they had lunch with om4 she told me his name and it mated name I got from license plate number Hope she is killing her custody case she has introduced kids to 4 friends in 3 months good Freud!
When the stbexw brought the kids she was driving her new Camero with no car seats and making 2 kids share a seatbelt. Crap that's why we spent 45 thousand bucks 2 years ago for a Yukon xl so we would have plenty of room for the kids. Crap she makes me mad.
M40, W 37 M 11 1/2 y T 13 y D filed 5-18-10 S 5-29-10 OM1 discovered 6-5-10 Counter sued for d 6-16-10 OM2 discovered 8-10-10 OM3, OM4 4 kids 10, 7, & 3 D date 10-14-10 http://tiny.cc/mxzct
