The kids oh the kids, when they are with the W, they dont want to talk to me, when they are with me they dont want to talk to W. I have a 5 and 3 year old. They are confused but dont what really is happening. My C told me that kids really dont have concrete answers in their heads until they are 7 years old or later. I think your S is mirroring your emotions from you. You need to be a A ROCK for your S, and you are being sorry to say "me;ty man" in front of him. All it will do is bring you down.
Kids when they are old enough will play the parents against each other, I dont know this from my own experience but what I have read with other people in similar situations with older children. I feel your Son is projecting these comments because of how emotional you are around him? I am very careful about what I say around my kids???? this is a hint to you, take it or leave it. IF your S goes back to your W with just the slightest comment of Daddy is crying about you not being here, she knows she is still controlling you and the situation. Again I dont get harsh unless I see something that is out of whack!!!
My kids tell me all the time thye want me to come home with them. I tell them Mommy and I are not being nice to each other right now so we are taking time apart. We both love you and everything will be ok. I feel you are on the path to get your S involved in the middle of this mess you are in with your W. Dont do it, it will be the most devastating thing to him. He is innocent, if you guys work things out great, but you have to take the lead and be strong for him. lead be the father you need to be. If she ends up in another realationship you are his father, his dad, his rock dont get to the point of being a 2nd choice to him. I will never be a 2nd choice to my kids, I am their father, what ever happens in my sitch, she will do what she will, but my children will not be raised under the false guidance of a stepfather, I will not let that happen.
Maybe i am jumping the gun. but part of letting go, is seeing things through that are not getting back together. YOu need to think about both paths and have the same goals and interests for your children no matter what path you end up on.
