I've mentioned Retro to her, and she looked at their homepage. It didn't appeal to her.
Your W is willing to go to MC, but not Retro? My W really, REALLY didn't want to go. She finally decided to go just to "communicate" better with me during our S.
It's a weekend on communicating. Costs next to nothing unless you CAN pay (which you should). I signed up for the one in two weeks and they are asking a $550 donation for the couple. We are in dire straights right now with money, and I know we can't pay that. But, the retro people understood completely - especially since we are a young couple.
Maybe give it another try. Tell her that you're interested in going not to improve the M or make it 'work', but just to understand her better and communicate more.
I wouldn't pursue it too hard though. Maybe talk to MC about it? See if (s)he recommends it. Maybe talk about it in MC.
----"Et tu, Brute?"---- me:28 W:24 S4 T:6 M:4 EA Exposed: 5/21/10 Bomb: 6/20/10 (Father's Day) NC w/ OM: 7/10/10 W moved out 8/21/10 http://bit.ly/aOrZne - My sitch
I've brought it up once, and she saw it in my browser the second time. Both times no interest; I think she's concerned about the religious angle, and also feels that she'd be ganged up upon. MC feels much safer for her. Right now I'd rather be going to our MC than trying another "trick."
Realized something really odd. I'm actually glad my wife dropped the Bomb. I look back at how I was two months ago, and I really didn't like myself too much. Didn't like my wife too much either. Now I'm healthier, more motivated, confident, trying new things all the time, and goal oriented. Back then I was just cruising along, taking what life gave me.
My wife told me last night that the last two months have been hell. I wonder if she looks at herself and has the same happiness about what she's doing.
Realized something really odd. I'm actually glad my wife dropped the Bomb. I look back at how I was two months ago, and I really didn't like myself too much. Didn't like my wife too much either. Now I'm healthier, more motivated, confident, trying new things all the time, and goal oriented. Back then I was just cruising along, taking what life gave me.
I made that SAME realization tonight as well. If that's the case, I'm convinced everyone realizes this after 68 days from the bomb.
We're on the same timeline Pinhead, just slightly different paths. Father's Day is awesome, am I right?
----"Et tu, Brute?"---- me:28 W:24 S4 T:6 M:4 EA Exposed: 5/21/10 Bomb: 6/20/10 (Father's Day) NC w/ OM: 7/10/10 W moved out 8/21/10 http://bit.ly/aOrZne - My sitch
I am also infinitely better off today than on the day my W moved out (3 months ago). I've told friends that, even if we don't end up together, my W gave me my life back when she moved out.
Last edited by bustorama; 08/29/1005:19 AM.
Me-53 W-49 D22,D18,D15 T-Since-12/2001 Married-9/2004 She Moved Out-5/28/2010 Piecing start-04/2011 Now-together Thread http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2079304
Realized something really odd. I'm actually glad my wife dropped the Bomb. I look back at how I was two months ago, and I really didn't like myself too much. Didn't like my wife too much either. Now I'm healthier, more motivated, confident, trying new things all the time, and goal oriented. Back then I was just cruising along, taking what life gave me.
My wife told me last night that the last two months have been hell. I wonder if she looks at herself and has the same happiness about what she's doing.
I agree with what you're saying. Although I'm not "glad" that my W left, I am thankful as to how it snapped me out of my funk. I realized how short life is and there is more to it than just existing.
I'm also starting to appreciate how my wife really feels, the emotions/turmoil she's going through. I'm pretty clearheaded about what I want; a loving, caring, nurtering relationship with someone. I'm not so sure my wife is that person, but I think so. Yet for her, she has no idea what she wants, whether she deserves to be happy, and all she sees is pain and doubt. I'd say that's hell...
I haven't said anything in your thread here but I read it all the time. Great to hear that you're making progress. Don't be afraid of the "friendship" aspect and be patient with romance.
I would be happy just to move back into my bedroom instead of moving out.
I am getting bombarded with W texts right now from her vacation spot. Only 2 hours and she can't stop telling me about our "kids" swimming.
I'm very glad for you my friend. I'm running my 4th month in baby steps. Patience is a virtue.
I haven't said anything in your thread here but I read it all the time. Great to hear that you're making progress. Don't be afraid of the "friendship" aspect and be patient with romance.
I would be happy just to move back into my bedroom instead of moving out.
I am getting bombarded with W texts right now from her vacation spot. Only 2 hours and she can't stop telling me about our "kids" swimming.
I'm very glad for you my friend. I'm running my 4th month in baby steps. Patience is a virtue.
I just don't know. Now I feel like a WAS since I'm the one who knows what they want, wants to head there, and get moving! Life is too damn short for playing Hamlet for months on end.
I really worry about her settling for a loveless marriage. She could stay in a safe home, with financial security, and have tons of time with our daughters. Kind of like before the Bomb dropped. But you can't unring that bell, and I won't live in a loveless marriage.
I want a wife who is interested in me, not because I give her lots of attention or listen well, but because she thinks I'm the cat's pajamas. Someone who's pulse quickens when I walk in the room. Someone who isn't afraid of being loved, or giving love. Someone who does things, not reads about others doing things.
It's hard to judge my wife right now, or to look in the recent past and see what she was like, since that was such a screwed up time for us. She's always liked someone taking care of her, and while I like doing my share and more of domestic stuff, and I love taking care of my girls, it'd be nice to have someone who was more involved with our lives than with the cast of Project Runway, or Ace of Cakes.
This has been a refreshing month. I bought some jeans yesterday, and I'm still thrilled that I can fit into a 34 waist. Spent some time working outside today, and my tan is looking good. I'm a reasonably attractive guy, in great shape, with a good, well paying job and two great kids. I like to cook, read, watch movies and the Seahawks. I'm trying something new everyday, eating a different food, driving a different route, doing a Costanza when appropriate.
Life is good.
If she doesn't want to come along for the ride, her loss. I'd love to have a copilot, but even without one, I'll still hit my destination.
