Here's a story...of a very sad lady

[Dagny-2]

This is so very hard, the mix of emotions, of blaming myself for not meeting his needs and blaming him for not being a man and telling me he needed something. To sit alone all weekend while he is with his girlfriend, dating and doing that fun stuff.

I saw him for one of S13's soccer game. We sat next to each other, didn't say too much, didn't want to say too much to him.

I have made one friend, my S11 has a new best friend, and their dad is in Iraq, so I spent the afternoon with the family (they invited my kids for an outing and I invited myself along), we had dinner and one child went for a sleepover, I couldn't bear to have both kids go. And I spent $100 at amazon for surviving divorce type books. I charged it to my H's credit card. He is spending a fortune on his 2 bedroom love nest, I can get some books. I've kept with the no contact, though it is what I want to do most. Still no GAL goals, though new friend and I talked about checking out the Y together next week. I'm not very good at the self-care stuff, I always seem to put the kids or H in front of me these last years.

I need to hear over and over that it is all about him, to have no expectations, but watching my children get more attached to this area when the likelihood is that we will have to leave is another heart-wrenching act.

Dagny