You can't have everything, where would you put it?

[ClingingToHope]

Everyone processes things a different way. I've gotten advice from people to slow down and let all the pain in.

What I'm trying to do -- and circumstances push me that way as well -- is to "work" my way through it.

I guess I'm trying to just keep putting one foot in front of the other -- get out there, meet people, stay connected, work, work and work to lift myself financially -- and one day I'll wake up and say, wow, life feels different/better.

I feel better about myself when finances aren't a worry. So the more I bring in, the more I can pay off and the better I feel about the future. When I'm not working or out with people, I'm worrying about the money, which makes me mad about the D, which makes me anxious about finding someone else, etc.

I also feel better about myself when I'm around people. STBXW and the girls were my main focus for 13 years. My life revolved around their schedules. So I've basically created a new schedule revolving around the girls when I have them, my extra jobs and then activities.

And the activities are piling up. Going away party for a friend on Sept. 2. Friends from Virginia and Georgia in on Sept. 3. Have the girls Sept. 4-5. Not sure what I'm doing for Labor Day -- it's STBXW's birthday and I made sure she'd have the girls so I could enjoy the day -- I may take the train in to Chicago to just hang out or perhaps put in another round of golf. Sept. 10 I'm going to an improv performance. Sept. 11-12, working in Chicago again.

Time truly is our only friend and I'm just trying to make mine move more quickly.

Nothing really to report today. Girls stayed over and we didn't do much of anything. I was tired. They were tired. D8 did want to go for a walk through the park to the beach and we did that. It's cooler now so the mosquitos weren't out.

Got them to sleep a little later than I wanted, but they woke up fine. D11 caught the bus and I drove D8. This really p*sses STBXW off, but I don't care. Because STBXW has to be at work by 8:15 -- which is when school starts -- the girls HAVE to ride the bus. D8, for some reason, has to be at the bus stop at 7:18 a.m. That's crazy. I just drive her every time so we don't have to leave the apartment until 7:55 a.m. She'll get a full 30 more minutes of sleep the nights she stays with me.

At the last second today though we discovered homework she hadn't finished. Unlike D11, who would have panicked and thrown a dramatic fit, D8 just sat down and cranked out the work in about five minutes. We still made it to school on time. I think D8 has the potential to be a really top-flight student. D11 wants things to be easy. You have to make her finish work.

It wasn't early enough for me to go and meet D8's teacher though. I'll have to do that next week.

I'm still leaning toward doing my own parent-teacher conferences. Last year I let STBXW do all of the talking and didn't ask any questions. She would go on and on about how this is better and that is better. And I don't want to hear it again. The reason they did better last year is we found after-school sitters who stayed on top of them to do their homework so it was done before STBXW or I got home from work.

I found the sitters. I go over what needs to be done after school. But who cares who gets the credit as long as I watch them walk across the stage to get that college degree.

Big, big work day. Have to finish everything tonight so I'm not scrambling tomorrow. I have to be out of here at 2:15 p.m. to see the kids off the bus and then go to run the scoreboard at the football game.

And my Reds are 3 1/2 games up on BobbiJo's Cardinals. It would be amazing to watch the Reds play in October.

[ClingingToHope]

Small note. Went through girls backpacks to see if there was homework or anything of note. D11 has a class orientation Monday night at 7 p.m.

I wrote it on my calendar and am interested to see if STBXW notifies me of it. She only told me about D8's orientation after she realized I wanted to keep them for the night.

If she doesn't, I'll definitely show up.

Second small note. I gave my house key to the after-school sitter. I no longer can get in to my old house. Well, I can. We've locked ourselves out countless times and I know which windows to go through.

Still, it was a milestone and really I felt good about it. Not having the key will help me from backsliding in down times.

[ClingingToHope]

This is good for a laugh. D8 gets off the bus today with this huge smile on her face. She says to me "why do I have to be drop-dead gorgeous? All of the boys were all over me."

That's why I was so protective of getting to meet the girls off the bus. During the school year, I get that EVERY DAY. Those are just great moments.

I was laughing about it an hour later.

[ClingingToHope]

Fridays are going to be interesting for a while. Worked until 10 p.m. last night then watched a friend sing at a dive bar near downtown.

I had a lot done yesterday, but not everything so I'm rushing through to finish by 2:15 p.m. so I can head home to see the girls for an hour and then off to score a high school football game.

Meeting a friend after and then off to Chicago Saturday to work at the Chicago Triathlon.

Crazy weekend but I'll earn $500, which will go toward debt.

I'll be off the boards until Monday. I hope everyone has a good weekend.

[Gardener]

I hope everyone has a good weekend.

You, too.
You deserve it.

Peace,

[Gardener]

CTH,
Quick response/question for you on my thread.

[ClingingToHope]

Good weekend. The Chicago Triathlon is one of the easier events we do. Originally we were supposed to work until midnight Saturday, but they let us off at 5 p.m.

Sunday, typically we have work to do before the race and have to get up at 2 or 3 a.m. This time, they didn't want us there until after. So we didn't have to be in downtown Chicago until 2:30 p.m. and we had everything picked up by 6:30 p.m.

So that was an easy $350.

Saturday night, eight of the nine of us who came together went out to eat and that was fun. The one down note was the one newlywed was grilling another guy who is thinking about getting married. And he was spouting off about this and that and I wanted to say I didn't really want to hear it.

But I let it go and tried to just concentrate on the stuff on TV.

Tonight is D11's orientation and -- as I guessed -- STBXW didn't notify me. I'm still undecided if I should just show up. If I do, it'll show STBXW that I'm not going to miss things.

But I really don't want to see her and I could just meet D11's teacher on Friday when I pick her up from school.

What to do?

[mishka422]

My opinion on this? Go to orientation if you want to go to orientation. Don't go if you don't want to go.

None of this is about STBXW and it really would be healthy for you and your girls if you can work your way past being in the same room with STBXW sooner than later.

[ClingingToHope]

Yes, Mishka, it's likely to be later rather than sooner.

I'll have to see STBXW briefly Sunday night. She has them for Labor Day -- which also is her birthday -- and I'm going to go golfing in the morning and I don't want to have to wake the girls.

I can meet D11's teacher later this week -- I'm picking her up Friday. The fact STBXW didn't tell me about the orientation tells me STBXW doesn't want me there.

I'll talk to D11 today and see what she wants me to do.

[Drew]

CTH,

I can meet D11's teacher later this week -- I'm picking her up Friday. The fact STBXW didn't tell me about the orientation tells me STBXW doesn't want me there.

Meeting her teacher isn't the same as going to orientation. You'll miss a lot of information on procedures, expectations, and other things. And why in the world are you letting your STBXW influence your relationship with your daughter and her education?

I'll talk to D11 today and see what she wants me to do.

What do YOU want to do? You're the parent.