If I may...You have never posted on my thread and I am not familiar with your sitch. What I can say is that I agree with Grit.
Look dude, if you decided to D and are happier well then hey I am happy for ya.
The process that Grit posts about is really as he said, about finding a place in oneself where WE choose to walk away/stop standing..whatever you want to call it, from a place of peace. From a TRUE place of understanding.
Anger, frustration, angst, fear, panic, depression, hopelessness, etc...all of these emotion are faced by the LBS and actually I believe the spouses. Most people (not just MLCers) IMO, do not want to face these feelings so they run.. they run from the M - BUT most importantly they run from themselves. The run from really finding who they are and what they are made of.
I think Grit's position or stance if you will, is to finally stop running. Finally face HIS issues, finally face HIS fears. In short, he is taking responsibility for his role in this and not just casually saying "well I made some mistakes,I better forgive myself and really just move on". No ...he is owning his issues, he is trying to be the best person that he can be.
That person is his wife's husband (at least right now)...but more importantly, that person is someone with a true heart, someone who has finally understood that none of us can control another person, has finally understood that every person is responsible for there choices, finally understood that none of what someone does to YOU should change who YOU are or who you want to be. That person that I call a friend. Maybe that is what he wants right now! I will let him answer that.
The 2nd marriage divorce rate is so high because most people will never identify the root cause of the issues they brought in the first M.. they casually chalk it up as a mistake or blame the other person. So we have choice we can go the route of saying...maybe this is who they really are or...as you pointed out everyone changes. Funny...I thought of that line....everyone changes...
Think about that for a second...if they can change and become nasty, two timing sons of bi*ches, could they not also change and become kind loving partners again? I guess they could...
Knowing that someone (and by your own admission) everyone changes...well then ins't that a reason to give them time to change? It is a personal choice..but while they are changing, we the LBS have a opportunity to change ourself. That my friend is a gift.
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
