Welllllll....when my H was drinking that was the ONLY time I had glimpses of what I NOW believe to be his true feelings breaking through...it was those times that he would say he always loved me, that he didn't deserve my forgiveness, that was deeply sorry, that he had made a huge mistake, that he didn't know what to do or how to fix things, that everything just seemed like a lost cause for him...unfortunately he too didn't remember when he sobered up the next morning...
All I can say is it sounds like he does some thinking, even if alcohol induced...you are still planted somewhere in his heart...he is reaching out...you gave a good reply, even though he denies it...he is still confused about his own feelings...I would reply to his emails and just say something like, "I understand, no problem"...this is no pressure, this is you being strong and not needing him...BUT at the same time from the previous response he KNOWS that you would be willing!
Now just go quiet...get back to work on you...try not to start focusing too much on him...he still needs some "brewing" time...he will do or say something that will give you the next needed key to know where this is going.
