G, do you remember the story from Babydoll's thread about the old woman who told her that her husband had run off for 3 years? They eventually reconciled... I believe they had kids...
I bet she wasn't a nasty pasty in that time to her WH (although she mighta been if there was an OW!!!).
I don't recall OW in her sitch, but she was all about look your best feel your best be your best, create an environment where WH would want to come home to sort of thing...
[Quote\] I don't have much respect for WH right now so maybe I don't care about earning his respect, but if there is EVER to be reconcilliation (and I beleive there isn't) then there has to be respect there...
Comes when you are ready! And when you are ready to forgive. I felt the same way. They have to earn it all over again!
[Quote\] I guess I am asking for lessons in how to walk the HIGH ROAD cos I've never done it before in my life. Better buy some books on Ghandi and read up![/quote] Funny you mention Ghandi, Mort Fertel had an enitre email dedicated to "be the change you wish to see". Its on my thread. This was what finally hit home for me. Now I know my sitch is different and there is no OW involved and I may just do things differently, I don't hold grudges, but why not give it a whirl! I found that my angry phase consumed my life with such hatred, and sadness, constant crying, feelings of betrayel... I can go on and on... So for me forgiveness came quite early. I forgave WH. Partially because I needed to for closure, felt better to me and allowed me to fully understand and accept that his leaving had mainly to do with himself not so much us. I also didn't like the bitter person I was becoming. But we all have different ways of healing and timing will vary. And as MWD says forgiveness is the gift you give yourself. You will know the right time.
