First of all I respect that you are here and that you are trying to heal yourself from your own tragedy.
I posted to you in the middle of your own back in May or April.
It has become very clear to me that we do not share the same view on this process based on your posts to others and my repsonses to you there. Also based on your own choices.
What I am about to say may sting a bit but it is only my opinion and based in my own experience.
I believe that this is a process and that there is a great deal to be learned through it.
I believe in giving back what you recieve on the boards through helping others and posting your own experiences here as well.
For guidance, for discussion and for support and feedback.
I was doing that when I began to post to you way back when.
I believe it is helpful for others to see where you are today and where you have come from.
You can see my journey and my heart spilled out on these pages.
If you want to know my response to your post.
Read my whole thread. Back to when I first posted 2/27.
You will see all the bloody details of my journey.
You will also see a transformation.
You will see a man that started with pain.
And now through that pain and the decision to stand for my M I have come to a different understanding of Love, Myself, My W and my M.
At the beginning of this thread I describe that journey for me.
I believe there is a temptation in this to take exits along the way. We start this process with trying to get our spouse back because it will validate us. If that doesn't work we are tempted to walk away. They don't want us so f@ck 'em.
That IMO denies you of an incredible opportunity for growth and understanding and cuts short the process of true healing and acceptance.
How do I know?
Because I took that first exit in my first M and was tempted to do it again.
How does everyone here know that?
Because I have posted that here and shared it.
Time I am not trying to put tacks in your saddle here buddy and I am saying it here because you chose to post on my thread.
Where are your threads that I posted on? If I recall you DB'd for a month or so and your W left and it was over. I am not judging your choice. It is yours to make.
The easy road is to run away from something that causes you pain. I have done that too.
I agree with some of what you say but sorry I don't with most of it because my experience has taught me a different perspective.
Maybe that's because of the time I have committed to this and the experiences I have had. It has made all the difference.
I believe some of this tough stuff is learned from having the courage to stand up for what you believe, endure the pain, stop blaming other people for your own failures, throw away a certain sense of entitlement we all bring to our M and relationships, to heal and accept.
Time. Time does heal. And it takes time, perseverence, and courage.
So does unconditional love heal.
It has the power to heal you and your spouse regardless of the outcome.
You don't get there until you understand and experience what it is not. You don't get there by running away.
The only way though this is through it.
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
