I think he already knows you know. Who else would have his phone? is probably be what he is thinking. When you go home it is very important to stay calm, so not to freak your daughter out. If he turns evil, just call the local PD and have them escort him away from your home. I had to do that to my ex. Or have your family go with you to make sure nothing bad happens. TImes like this are scary. You are hurt and you are not sure how to move forward but you have to for your own sake and your DD. Good luck and you will survive.
Just wanted to update quick. I made sure to be home by 9:30 (the time they needed to leave) bc H had me sign DD and him up for a preschool project today at Lowes. So...I get here. He's laying on the couch looking like a slob. DD is running around in jammies, hair and teeth not brushed. I walked in and was totally cheery to her.
I walked right up to the couch, waited for him to look me in the eye, shook my head, handed him his phone and said "UNBELIEVABLE" Then I went to DD's bedroom with her.
That's it. Now how long is that PIG going to lay on my couch? Regardless, I'm getting DD dressed and we are going outside to play or getting out of here or something.
Puppy, thank you for the prayers. I am NO LONGER willing to let that ba$tard drag me down. I am way to good for him.
Me: 34 H: 34 DD: 3 M: 8 yrs H moved out Oct. 2008, "not happy" "don't know what I want" "will always love you, but not in love with you" PA Bomb: April 5, 2010
Just wanted to update quick. I made sure to be home by 9:30 (the time they needed to leave) bc H had me sign DD and him up for a preschool project today at Lowes. So...I get here. He's laying on the couch looking like a slob. DD is running around in jammies, hair and teeth not brushed. I walked in and was totally cheery to her.
I walked right up to the couch, waited for him to look me in the eye, shook my head, handed him his phone and said "UNBELIEVABLE" Then I went to DD's bedroom with her.
Great job on Step One, Courts.
Step Two: avoid his attempts today to try to get you to reveal what you're thinking, and "what you're going to do about this." Just see above from me for how to handle that.
Just wanted to update quick. I made sure to be home by 9:30 (the time they needed to leave) bc H had me sign DD and him up for a preschool project today at Lowes. So...I get here. He's laying on the couch looking like a slob. DD is running around in jammies, hair and teeth not brushed. I walked in and was totally cheery to her.
I walked right up to the couch, waited for him to look me in the eye, shook my head, handed him his phone and said "UNBELIEVABLE" Then I went to DD's bedroom with her.
That's it. Now how long is that PIG going to lay on my couch? Regardless, I'm getting DD dressed and we are going outside to play or getting out of here or something.
Puppy, thank you for the prayers. I am NO LONGER willing to let that ba$tard drag me down. I am way to good for him.
Beautiful and strong - not a bad way to go through life, Courts. Nice job.
When will be home? What's your plan? There is nothing to discuss with him, no explanation you would accept - so don't entertain anything he says. In fact, be ready to leave with DD to do something amazing! Picnic. Day trip. Even a movie. But be ready to hit the road as soon as they come back.
You need to be occupied and DARK until you can get to a L on Monday morning first thing.
Greek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
So he didn't get DD or himself ready so they missed the project at Lowes today. Please tell me why that a-hole is sticking around here? I got both DD and myself ready and he stats asking if I'M taking her or where we are going. Uh, too late jerk off.
What an a$$. For now I'm going to sit outside, play with DD and read my new book. Or should I take DD to the playground and get the heck out of here?
Why doesn't he just leave and GO BE WITH OW.
I know he's shocked I'm so upbeat. ; )
What's the saying, "Don't let the ba$tards wear you down" I think.
Me: 34 H: 34 DD: 3 M: 8 yrs H moved out Oct. 2008, "not happy" "don't know what I want" "will always love you, but not in love with you" PA Bomb: April 5, 2010
Go to a family or friends house just in case he tries to follow. Then when you are sure he is gone do what you please just you and the little one. Let him be in the past, start planning your future.
Me:33 W:34 DD(1st marriage):12 lives with mom DD:4 DD:3 M:6 day she said didn't want to be married: 06/2009 EA:02/2010 as far as I know day I told her I knew:05/2010
So he didn't get DD or himself ready so they missed the project at Lowes today. Please tell me why that a-hole is sticking around here? I got both DD and myself ready and he stats asking if I'M taking her or where we are going. Uh, too late jerk off.
What an a$$. For now I'm going to sit outside, play with DD and read my new book. Or should I take DD to the playground and get the heck out of here?
Why doesn't he just leave and GO BE WITH OW.
I know he's shocked I'm so upbeat. ; )
What's the saying, "Don't let the ba$tards wear you down" I think.
I have no idea why he's hanging around but if I had to guess, I'll bet he wants to keep a finger on your pulse to see what your next move is. That's why I say you pack your sweet girl up and go. If he asks where you are going, you say in your composure "That is just the kind of question I would have answered freely when we were a couple and accountable to each other. That is over." Then leave to make a GREAT day for yourself and your girl.
Greek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
I've been outside with DD, but popped in to give her lunch. I can barely keep my eyes open bc I've had zero sleep. I might wait until after her nap to hit the road (so I can nap too). I'm guessing he'll leave at that time anyway. When he's gone, I'll have more time to address the things that have been posted.
Puppy, will you elaborate on the addict thing? When I was reading all of the IMs last night I was really thinking it was some kind of addiction or something. How else could someone live with themselves? I've never seen someone live such a double life. I think OW has a DD that lives with her. If so, my H spends more time with her DD than his own. SICK!!!!!!!!!
And why in the hell did he decide to admit his affair if he was living with her? NOTHING makes sense. After his admission, it was all bs talk about regrets, moving back, etc...LIE AFTER LIE and it didn't take long before he stopped offering to move back with me. And the idiot just recently told me he still doesn't know what he wants. He just doesn't know if we can make it work. We can't be together for DD only, etc. OMgosh...cake eating ba$tard!
In the IMs I found it quite interesting that they were b*itching back and forth and then she says, "Well I told you months ago that things probably would not get any better as long as we continue to live this way & here lately you would rather hang out with your "friends" than hang out with me. There are only certain days that I don't work and you don't have DD so that makes me feel real good about us. I feel like I have a roommate more then a boyfriend. Not to mention that most of our conversations are through text which 1/2 the time confuses us". Then she says, "Take me on a small trip and make things right". THEY ARE PYSCHO!
And now he's here eating lunch and watching bball. GET THE F OUT DUDE! How can even act like everything is just peachy? As if he's welcome here. He's about to get some rude boundaries he's not gonna like when he's here visiting DD - no alcohol, no tobacco, no online poker/betting, no cell in the house and no more eating MY food. I am sooooo beyond HOT right now.
And I think he probably saw my new book, "Helping Kids Cope With Divorce the Sandcastles Way" Wonder what he thought about that? No actually, I don't care what he thinks. He's wicked.
Sorry...I'm venting. Oh I HAVE to add this message she sent him, "Yeah well what changes need to be made? All I have been able to think about is how 2 years ago on labor day was the first time you took me out. And I told you then I was done. And you laid on my living room floor crying, begging me not to give up. So 2 years later I feel we are the same except you live here." What a pathetic loser. At that same time when he was crying or whatever about her, I was crying about him. That's jacked up. He's a heartless, spineless snake.
Me: 34 H: 34 DD: 3 M: 8 yrs H moved out Oct. 2008, "not happy" "don't know what I want" "will always love you, but not in love with you" PA Bomb: April 5, 2010
