Boundaries in Marriage

[Concerned_Listener]

I accompanied my W to her private lesson this week. After another frustrating experience at a ballroom event, she has decided to expand her dance repertoire. She wants to be able to dance every dance, if that is what she chooses.

Last year, I ventured into ballroom on my own, after she started sleeping elsewhere again. I was contemplating divorce We had a dancing separation for most of last year, and she partnered with someone from the Salsa community. We were roommates.

I ventured to a new studio last December, and allowed her to attend with me. She began taking private lessons. They were her lessons, and I filmed them for her. I went to group classes on my own--Waltz technique, Samba workshop, and other dances.

An opportunity came in March for a Hustle formation team. I decided to see if I could move the R forward one last time. It was a success. The connection increased and the dance partnership taken to a higher level.

The instructor noticed our work ethic and invited us to join Tango and later Cha Cha teams. We spent the summer attending group classes and private lessons weekly. We have been learning dance technique and fundamentals of body action, leg action, body shaping, and styling. It's been a year of personal growth for both of us. We will be performing at a dance convention in September as part of three teams.

I dance the Latin dances with her because that is what we can do without conflict. The smooth dances (Waltz, Tango, Foxtrot) are still new to me. We end up fighting on the floor with these dances, so I dance with other ladies. I'm willing to practice on the floor. She wants to be competent before she hits the floor. The instructor is going to help us evolve into being able to partner in the smooth dances. This would expand our repertoire and allow us to dance together at most any event. This would also also increase the number of dances we can do together. This would correct the ratio of dancing between she and I and I and other ladies to one of mutual satisfaction. She later complained after our weekend trip, that she wanted to dance more with me. It's very difficult for her to sit out a dance.

CL