A man in full

[Truegritter]

I need to catch up on my sitch here mostly with interactions with W which have been few but profound.

This is from 7/23 or there abouts:


She called and sounded upset so I asked what was wrong. She said she had been at the chapel. I said is everything ok. She said I am just not doing well I can’t get out of this hole. I can’t get a job because they run background checks and see my arrest for battery and my DUI. I just can’t believe the bad choices I made I don’t even know that person.

I am not the person you were married to. I say you know what speaking just for me I am not proud of the man I was during that time either. Neither of us brought the best of ourselves to our marriage. She said I can’t go back to that. I said neither do I want to. She said you are struggling too. I said I am but I am going to make it out this whether we are together or not I know that.

She tells me more about how she is just flat broke and can’t even buy groceries. I say if you want help you have to ask me. I can’t assume what you need and do it for you. That doesn’t work we both know that. She said you can see I only have $10 in my account and I helped you when you needed it a long time ago. I said I don’t look at your bank account or FB or anything and there is a very good reason for that. If I put $200 in your account will that help you. Yes. I will do it today.

W:I just don’t know what I’m going to do I have to start over.
M I understand its hard.
W And you aren’t secure yet either even if we were together.

I said my financial status doesn’t have anything to do with our relationship. They are separate in my mind to any decision about us. Pause.

M What can I do to help? Would it help if we talked?
W I don’t know.
M I can come over and bring the dog so you can visit with him maybe that will cheer you up. I can only do that on the weekends so let me know.
W I would like to see him let me think about it.
M Ok you think about it. If it gets bad go to the chapel and sit there. That’s what I do. So you call me whenever you need to I am still here and I’m not going anywhere.
W OK.

I put the money in and she called to thank me and said she may move home with her folks. I said whatever you think is best. I understand it’s hard. Call me if you need anything.

So that was over a month ago....

Then