Love is Unconditional

[missmyfriend]

Excellent questions, sleeper. Before I respond, I want to say that it is important to me to follow what the bible teaches and not "use" the bible for my own ends.

I know that many in history have used God to attempt to justify some pretty heinous acts but delving into the word, bending to His will, and not just cherry picking what supports personal objectives, is more important to me than my marriage. Scripture warns against selfish motives.

For anyone that reads this, I don't want anyone to think I am pushing my beliefs on them or to tell anyone what they should do with their marriage. I am focusing on what I believe God is directing me. I will encourage anyone, if they are believers, to be cautious in following what any man or woman would tell them, if it isn't supported scripturally. I have sometimes listened to others when I shouldn't have. What they said sounded pleasing to my ears but it wasn't following what He has written in His book.

Back to your questions, sleeper.

1. Do I still have a marriage? Not according to man's law. We are divorced according to the state that I live in. Further, I did not try to hold on to her. She wanted to be free and I love her enough to let her go.

As far as God is concerned, I believe we are still married. During our marriage, we became Christians, being fully aware of what it meant by John 3:16, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." & from Jesus' own declaration in John 14:6, "...I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."

We have a covenant marriage, both of us vowing before God to be married until death do us part. In Mark 10:7-8, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one." In verse 9 of the same book and chapter, Jesus said "Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." It may as well have said that no one can separate these two, including those in this union, unless God Himself makes it so.

Are we still married? I know that legally we aren't but spiritually, I believe we are. I know that I could move on (date and even remarry) without worry since she sought out the divorce and according to scripture, I could remarry without violating God's commands.

Something I believe few Christians who have divorced are aware, divorce wasn't encouraged and wasn't even allowed until Moses time. In Matthew 19:8, Jesus told the Pharisees, "He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so". I am not judging anyone who has sought a divorce. I am providing scripture that God does truly hate divorce. I am concerned that people are hurting their relationship with God since they may not fully comprehend that He is not condoning divorce when He provides allowances for divorce. If Jesus said that God allows it because of hardened hearts or another way to say it is that we are stubborn. He is saying further that we cannot remarry unless we divorced our spouse because they were in an adulterous relationship otherwise the new marriage would then be an adulterous relationship.

2. Would we still be "married" if my wife remarried? Legally, that is man's laws, definitely not. Spiritually, that is a good question.

If Jesus said that once married, let no man (or person) separate, then I guess we are married until once of us dies. God does not recognize or bless all marriages. If she remarries, then, according to scripture, it would be an adulterous relationship, so it would appear to be a legal marriage but not a Christian marriage recognized by God.

2a) Would I continue to stand for our marriage even if she remarried?

I really don't know.