Oh, I screwed up and left the DB/DR site open on my browser. She saw it and hid the screen so the girls wouldn't read it and freak. Not sure what it was opened to, or how much she might have read. In some ways, I don't really mind if she knew what I've written, except for my paranoid outburst in the infidelity section. But it bugs me a bit that I slipped. I had come home from lunch and read some forum posts while I ate lunch.
I think it's also the feeling that our progress is so slow. She's thoughtful and kind to me, but just no damn physical affection. No hugs, no kisses, no holding hands. And that's something I really miss.
I miss that too.My H walks a wide berth around me still.
I did initiate intimate contact a few weeks ago, but H later said "it doesn't change anything". H "appeared" angry at himself and me that he went for it.
In my sitch I cannot even succeed in getting the physical things going as H is so angry and closed off.
I wish I could initiate intimate contact. I wish I could initiate any contact. But the wall is high, and though I'm mostly enjoying my picnic, it'd be nice to have the touch.
I hear ya Bud. That not being able to burn off steam is really not good. Maybe knock out some push ups....Busto told me to drop and give him 20 the other day and since I can't go to the gym for 5 hours a night I decided to do sit ups. lol
Yeah, pushups and situps might help. I'd jump on the treadmill, but my run this morning has my knees hurting.
And I'm really pissed at myself for letting her see that something was bugging me. Usually I'm the friggin bluebird of happiness around her, but there's just something that really irritates me about how she puts so much into her job, sacrificing time with her family.
She might just want some space to breath too. And I need to respect that.
Sometimes when I read Robx's thread, it's like he's got this superhuman self esteem going. Sometimes I have a taste of that, and then sometimes it vanishes.
Sometimes when I read Robx's thread, it's like he's got this superhuman self esteem going. Sometimes I have a taste of that, and then sometimes it vanishes.
Haha. Yeah Superhuman is a good term! Did you read that other one I bumped up yesterday? I'll bump it again just in case...it's like a super hero sequel.
