Why is my W contacting me every few days? Is it guilt? Is she testing me to see my response? What is it and how do I move forward with it?
My DB coach has told me to not bring up relationship and let her come to me (just as you all have said) She basically said you can't afford another argument. Okay so there has been a few slips, but since I haven't contacted her, she now finds the need to talk to me even bringing up "stupid" questions. For example I've told her she can see our dogs anytime, but yet she continually asks if it's ok. I have plans Sat and Sun and she said she would come over and be with them. Okay. Great. She found the need to text me that she's coming over to do this. Cool. I didn't respond. 5 hours later she asks if I got her last text. I responded with "About the dogs? Yes.". She replies with "lol. I guess that my text didn't really need a response". I texted back and said "No worries - took it as you just letting me know."
I know this is petty, but could this be an opening where maybe I just text her and shoot the breeze every now and then? I mean not every day, but just initiate conversation about her and her day? At what point do I try things that "might" work?
I mean I don't NEED to talk to her...I want to, but only if it's mutually beneficial to do so. I'm sure not going to talk about stopping the divorce or relationship. This "setting them free" talk is great, but if she keeps contacting ME isn't that a sign of it working a little? Or do I need to stand up and say "It's best we don't talk at all anymore, I know I have neglected you in the past and I'm sorry for that, but if you don't want to be married any more or work on our relationship then I don't see a need to keep talking to each other" speech.
Seriously, I love my W, but I do not want to be "friends", I don't want to fix the OLD M, I want to make a new one. However, all the advice is great! However it gets a little overwhelming trying to apply "tough love" and then getting a reaction. I don't know what to do.
Please understand I'm working on my life, I've changed many things for me and will continue to do so. Just could use some advice.
