Looking for help with WAW

[Steve McQueen]

I wasn't trying to be funny. It could very well be someone who once was as scared and hurting as you are now. Who could give you some confidence that you are not finding yourself. It could be someone you have more in common with then 'what the realtor said.'

I read your thread on the other forum. I won't comment there. I won't advocate that nonsense. Might as well wear a t-shirt that reads cuckold. You can embrass yourself with alot more dignity than that.

Honestly Mza. What do you think you could ever accomplish by telling anyone? Piss her off so she never talks to you again? Make it so her family gives you weird looks everytime they see you? Have a couple people say 'oh yeah. we know'? Get the old widow down the street to feel sorry for you?

Don't be so desperate. "In some of the success stories cases when infidelity was involved the LBS still confronted and exposed and THEN let go." Ridiculous. There is no letting go. Be vengeful against someone else trying to find themself then PRETEND you don't care. Yeah right.

You can't let go now. Try.

[CityGirl]

Ravens? Pffft.

Saints.

[robx]

steve was replying to your comment of:

"do you like Piña coladas. getting caught in the rain. lol."

mza8 is also on the infidelity forum and I've read a lot of Allen's advice in the past, I just don't think it's applicable in mza's situation. Just my 0.02 cents.

[MrBond]

busy day around here so I might as well add my 2 cents.

Confront what? As far as you can tell she's just started looking for someone else. Exposing only works when you actually have something to expose.

Her looking for someone new is just the next part of her plans to move on with her life. Everyone is right about how it will be needy and clingy on your part.

Right now you're acting out of fear, frustration, etc. You're looking for a reason when there may not be a reason. It's out of your control and it's driving you nuts. What are you afraid of?

Start building your own self-esteem and self-respect or else all you're going to end up is being a stalker in your W's life. It's totally turning her off and if you continue to push the dating issue, all your chances will be gone.

[idontunderstand]

mza8

I remember when I was going through some bad times and not getting many responses, you were good enough to stop by and offer encouragement. I will try to do the same.

You have to listen to what everyone is saying. You must face reality. We all want to save our M. As you know, all of them won't be saved. It is important to save yourself; your pride, your sanity.

You have to stop trying to win her back. It hasn't worked and it won't ever work. Show her you agree and show her you are strong enough to be on your own. That's all you can do right now.

What will happen in the future? No one knows. You know you will be okay and will even, eventually, prosper. The first step is letting go.

I'm sorry this has happened to you. It sucks and is out of your control. You do have control of how you move on. Do it with strength, honor and dignity.

Take care of yourself!

[Steve McQueen]

just in case.

east

noun

1. the direction to the right of a person facing north; direction in which sunrise occurs: it is properly the point on the horizon at which the center of the sun rises at the equinox
2. the point on a compass at 90°, directly opposite west
3. a region or district in or toward this direction

Origin: ME est < OE east, akin to Ger osten, ON austr < Gmc base *aust-, dawn < IE base *awes-, to shine, dawn > L aurora, dawn, aurum, gold

adjective

1. in, of, to, toward, or facing the east
2. from the east: an east wind
3. designating the eastern part of a continent, country, etc.: East Africa
4. in, of, or toward the altar of a church



.

[gr8 day 2B alive]

Ravens? Pffft.

Saints.

OMG

I'm from philly, and I'm a Giants fan. I would be stoned to death if I wore a giants hat to the game,


I'm not kidding. It's so crazy here.



please, as for the Saints..... they will never win another superbowl during our life time. sorrry

[mza8]

Well, I’ve decided to move back here from the infidelity forum. W is still on the dating website but I don’t even care anymore. We’re officially done. I gave an update on my thread in the infidelity forum yesterday on what’s happened over the past couple of weeks. She was acting so much better lately but I guess that was all fake.

We talked last night so I could give her a house update. I mentioned that I received a letter from her lawyer yesterday and said we need to talk about it at some point. In the letter her L asked if I wanted to meet with her and W to discuss a S agreement. W asked what I wanted to talk about. I told her that her timing was terrible since we are dealing with difficult issues with the house right now. I asked her if this letter was in response to our conversation a couple of weeks ago that didn’t end well. She said that she’s been telling me for 10 months that she was going to file for D this October. That’s sort of BS because she told me earlier this week she had contacted her L two weeks ago after our last conversation did not end well.

I asked her if she even considered going to the counseling we discussed earlier this week and she claims she did but didn’t see any point since we’re in two different places. That’s her favorite tagline now…we’re in two different places. She said that she gave me a chance three years ago to go to counseling and I didn’t do it…I didn’t take that opportunity and now she’s done. She’s being so vindictive and trying to punish me. I told her that last year she wanted me to let go of the past or else I could never move on from the difficult last 3 years. I told her last night that I have let go of the past but she hasn’t and she’ll never want to consider trying with the M as long as she holds on to the past and her anger. I told her that she wants me to play nice with her and her L but she has done nothing to show me any consideration from her. I told her that if she would have given me the slightest courtesy and talked to me about things that I would have respected her and been more open to what she wants. I said that I cannot respect her now with the way she’s handled things.

Things turned ugly and I said that I am done with her and that I’ll let my L handle things from this point on. Oh well. I worked my ass off for her the past 10 months. It meant nothing to her. She’s so damn stubborn that she won’t even see any other view except her own. I tried, I really did. The DB stuff just didn’t work for me. I could not sit by any longer and let her walk all over me. I needed to say to her tonight how I felt about the way she has handled things. Well she didn’t like that because it didn’t jive with her viewpoint. It’s unbelievable to me to hear the things she says. She is so self-absorbed, everything is about her. I try to tell her to look at things from my perspective and she won’t. Anyway the conversation did not end well at all. Don’t think we’ll be talking to each other again anytime soon, if ever.

So I guess that’s it. Next stop is the big D. What a waste.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Things turned ugly and I said that I am done with her and that I’ll let my L handle things from this point on.

That would be wise, MZA. Not sure why you agreed to sit down to discuss a legal arrangement with her anyway (meet with her AND her atty, without YOU having an atty??? That's just insane).


Protect yourself.


Puppy

[mza8]

No, I never agreed to sit down with her and her attorney. Her attorney sent me a letter yesterday asking me if I would be open to sitting down with her and W to discuss S agreement. W's lawyer said I could bring my lawyer to the meeting if I agreed to have a meeting.

There's no way I'm sitting down with them face to face, even with my attorney. I already know how that meeting would go. W would expect me to happily go along and agree to everything she wants but would balk at what I wanted. In our last two conversations my W is very concerned if I am going to seek alimony and what else I am going to do. She keeps asking me what my intentions are but I tell her that I will not discuss it with her...she will find out when she files.

Funny that in our big conversation this past Tuesday my W asked me if I thought she ever loved me. I thought about it for a minute and told her that I couldn't answer that question right now. She got upset and said that she did love me and wanted me to know that. I told her I have my doubts about that.

We'll see where things go from here. This could turn ugly or not. I will protect myself though.