"I don't think I understand, tell me another way."
"What I hear you saying is..."
"Tell it to me like I am a 3rd grader."
Use "I" statements not "you" statements.
Sometimes when the conversation is very emotional he gets flustered when I don't get what he means straight away. I try to gently tell him that I'm not inside his head and I need him to explain so that I understand, but it doesn't usually work very well. Also, quite often if I ask him an open question he will just say "I don't know". This is why I try to sort of feed in possible answers so that he can choose one and explain on it instead of just saying IDK.
Originally Posted By: Coach
Quote:
I asked if I could ask him something and he said that this conversation was over. Then I said something on a different topic but he dismissed me.
OK, that is his problem, he's passive-aggressive.
"When you dismiss me like that I feel _______________. In the future I would appreciate it if we could continue having a dialouge. This is hurting our relationship."
Let him know what behavior is unacceptable to you ("I").
I don't know if it makes a difference, but he dismissed my attempts to start conversation about something else. In other words he didn't want to continue talking to me anymore in that moment. Is that something that I can say is unacceptable to me? Wouldn't it be forcing him to keep on talking despite the fact he doesn't want to?
Accept that there is only one thing you can change in life and that is you
