I think it`s tougher then a `normal` relationship because normally people WILL argue, and they WILL upset each other, but they will NOT run away. Our WH`s have shown that they don`t deal with the things that come up in a relationship and they ran away before, and so we struggle with whether or not they will run again.
You know second chance makes a good point that I have been thinking about lately. In the first three stages of MLC the WS is running away. In the last three stage they should not be running away. You are rebuilding your marriage. So some of your "expectations" may be in error, because of the stages. However until they break withdrawal they have not committed to the marriage and maybe they will decide not to remain in it. So again that can color your expectations.
I think these might be reasons that we are told to have NO EXPECTATIONS.
I think in the rebuilding stages fights are invevitable and are necessary in ordr to rebuid the marriage properly. No one is perfect, no relationship is perfect. Hence the world is not a perfect place and we might fight with our spouses. The question is did they run away or stay when all got said and done?
