I think you're expecting things of your W at this time that she just can't give you. She's not the same W and mother she was previous to MLC. What you are doing when you are asking her to parent with you is putting pressure on her that she can't handle at this time and probably not for quite a while longer.
You must keep your expectations at zero.
Those times you are noticing when she acts like the wife you knew are called 'peeking out of the tunnel'. They are just temporary reconnections with reality. If she senses pressure or gets scared she'll dart back in even faster.
Remember you can't hurry this process along but you sure can slow it up.
You are the only sane parent right now. You are the one your kids can consistently rely on. Do your best possible for the kids and yourself. Your wife has to left by herself to deal with her own issues.
