I'll have to incorporate that into my thinking as well.
I appreciate that perspective.
great line of thinking. Another boundary?
Exactly: for instance, the boundary could be that I won't accept H's stonewalling ways of not dealing with issues when they appear, or accept them from myself either. Stonewalling is when people refuse to deal with a situation. It's one of the Four Horsemen that ruin a marriage - from one of our weekend seminar books, The Seven Principles of Making Marriage Last or something like that. I can't remember the exact title and the author escapes me, although, he's well known. lol GREAT book, btw. Another definite to add to the list to read.
Anyway, I like the new perspective, CD, and your statements of yesterday morning along with Allen's and Steady's helped me get there!
Now - I just have to think about what that specifically means for me and my R with H and how to implement this new perspective... No lip service! Practicals! Actions!