Not sure where to start, or end. WAW?

[john28]

Where she would like to see clear direction she only sees problems.

You'd be surprised how many little girls really believe that you just get married and live happily ever after. It takes a long time before you get the life experience to see that no one has the perfect life. Everyone has troubles. Sometimes when you are young, you think that you have troubles because you chose wrong. If only you had chosen differently everything would be perfect. It takes maturity to see that we make our lives, and we can make a good life by acting in good faith. She has a lot to learn about being a good wife. But that's no reason to just throw the marriage away.

Thanks for that Lotus. You're right. You speak to the "little girl" that some women are and what they picture a life to be like. I agree completely.

Problem is, my W and I got married when she was 19. She has never grown up since then.

I've been the steadfast part of our R - she has always been back and forth, sideways, wrongways, rightways, anyway. She has gone from in March of this year saying this is the happiest she's ever been in our M - and we were having sex everyday for 30 days straight, to June saying she wants a D. She is and always has been all over the map.

But at a core, we both still love each other very much. I don't think either of us want this pain. But she is discovering the more she goes down the path of D, the more pain she is having. Maybe not because she is leaving me, but because she is leaving this life we built together, and a son we have together.

That is what is compelling her to love me. The life we have built together, and shared.

She doesn't understand that THAT is what LOVE IS. Shared respect and understanding of a life that takes hard work, but willing to do so.

She's just so young. So naive. I can't do anything about that at all, except let her taste the harsh reality of the life she is moving towards away from me. There is NOTHING in this world I can do to get her to understand that she's in for a rude awakening of scratching the couch cushions for milk money, wondering how she's going to put gas in her car to pickup S4 from school, to fixing a car that has broken and not having the money to do so, to sitting alone in bed every night with her tears from this pain.

I don't want that for her, but I can't change it for her. Maybe she'll wake up suddenly in this next year, or maybe she'll slowly come around to me again and trust me. Maybe she won't - but she'll know what she is in for if she doesn't.

Either way, she's going to become stronger in some way. I can only hope that she'll come back to me when she's strong again.