How about a text: "W, DD shared with me that she really wants her family back together. Good to know that you will go all out to make that happen for her! I'm on board, just show me the way."
OK, or not. But JEEZ.
So sincerely, how about: "W, I am sure we both care about DDs' welfare equally, we just demonstrate it in different ways. To me it is important for D13s growth that she have both some independence and some ownership for her life, including when it goes well. Fixing everything for her is tempting, but in my mind it isn't in her best interests. In any case, public evaluation of each other's parenting skills is not good for DDs. Maybe we could have a parenting session with a counselor, or maybe we just need to stay out of each other's parenting choice (within reasonable limits). What is NOT ok is the public criticism of my choices in my own house. If it happens again, you will not be welcome there."
