New here but learning slowly. Advice appreciated

[Albuquerque]

Just journaling..

H recently saw family doctor and got started on some AD. He tried a previous type but had some wicked side effects and had to stop. Hopefully these will be better. I've been told it takes a few weeks to see any effects. I'll be on the lookout.
H has also planned yet ANOTHER trip to the midwest (where suspected OW lives). It's really getting ridiculous. He spends at least one week a month there. I was tempted to ask why he doesn't just move there, but that's just me being pithy (and potentially putting ideas in his head). No need to worry, I kept my mouth shut and didn't actually say anything. Nevertheless, the info still hurts to hear. I find that strange when I live every day with the knowledge of the OW and have reached a point where thinking about it (as little as I try to do) doesn't particularly disturb me. I guess it's when it's presented to me directly as MORE circumstantial evidence rather than just speculation that it bothers me more.

H is definitely in replay. He's gotten on a horror movie kick and seems to be renting every horror movie he's ever watched or never gotten to watch. I'm not a big horror movie fan so we didn't watch that many together. I was a bit surprised/glad to hear during our last family dinner, that he's sworn off alcohol for awhile. He'd been drinking a lot (from what he'd tell me and post online). He said it wasn't helping so he decided to stop. I thought that was interesting. I didn't ask WHAT it wasn't helping.

Based on recommendations here, I'd gone kind of NC, but having a D13 it was hard, especially since he's still fairly involved in her life and all. But I found that even though I stopped emailing him, texting etc, he continued to do so to me. My H has always been "the communicator". We'd joke that the Mars/Venus books had it backwards with us. Talking things out has always been important to him. As a result of my not asking anything to him directly, I felt as though it was making me appear uninterested in him (as a person, not necessarily a spouse). So I've adjusted my approach a bit. I'll monitor and observe. When emailing stuff about D, I'll add a sentence or two about something else that I know he might be interested in. For example, I emailed him yesterday about D, and also added that a book I was reading was really good and that he should read it because it discussed something we've debated in the past. I also mentioned that I was listening to some podcasts he recommended to me and was enjoying them. He didn't respond immediately, but when he DID respond, he seemed upbeat (if you can seem upbeat in email). He said he would like to read the book and then mentioned that he still hadn't finished the other book I recommended (about Midlife Crisis) and needed to do that first. He also told me a slight bit about his day at work. So for day one of experimenting, I think that was good. I, like Brooklyn, kind of wonder whether he knows the door is open. In fact it was her posts that made me reevaluate my sitch a bit (thanks B!) The last all-out argument we had I pretty much told him if he was done, I was done. The next day, I started internet research, discovered MLC, read books and realized my errors and changed paths immediately. But I too, wonder whether he feels that I'm OK with this R ending. I even followed his lead and took my ring off because I felt like my keeping mine on might seem needy and desperate to him. More recently, I've been considering putting it back on, but after nearly 6 months of not wearing it, the idea seems weird now. I'd be interested in hearing what others have done about the ring issue.