Donna...Iwish I could just give you a hug and cuppa already.
My ex husband beat the snot out of me...cause kidney damage actually because bruises there don't really make the morning news, you know. He is a bad person with a screwed up past He loved the boys in his own warped way
he was not safe for me to be around and i haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaated that he was the boys' dad
but I tried my hardest to make sure they were safe and still allowed a relationship with him
he chose not to be around them any more
yay for me but they hurt because of that decision
maybe it isn't safe for you to be around her yet and you don't need to think she is the best influence in their lives
but she IS in their life
now the best you can do is look at it as another person who loves your kids...maybe not like you, maybe not healthyish, but she is a presence
We all have had shite happen in our lives...to varying degrees
and
no
you wouldn't want to live in blissful ignorance as to what was going on
what lesson would that have taught your children?
being aware means embracing and finding the joy in all things
when we learn the lesson we can stop repeating the class
i tell my boys it is the "glowing"
when the world is at it's darkest and it seems as though light will never happen, we need to find our glowing to help us...with that glowing we can even see some of the wonderful things the darkness gives us
there were many times in my life that finding the glowing was hard, if not almost impossible, there were many times that I was curled fetal and terrified, suffocating in the dark...I don't want my children to ever feel that... neither do you and if they do ever find themselves there they need to be able to find their glowing
we are all damaged but we are not only our damage
you are so much more than this Donna but sometimes I think you see yourself as only this
come look in my mirror see what I see
Oprah says...when there is no struggle, there is no strength
let yourself feel your own strength and power
Deepak Chopra says...Everytime you are tempted to react int he same old way, ask yourself if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the furture
open those doors to the furture, look ahead instead of behind
Nelson Mandela says...As we are liberated from our own fears, our presence automatically liberates others
let yourself see how great your daughter felt when you had your talk with her
Soren kierkegaard said...TO dare is to lose one's footing momentarily. To not dare is to lose oneself.
You my brilliant artist friend, shine in so many ways...dare to see those ways yourself
Willima Shedd says...A ship is safe in the harbor, but thet's not what ships are for
don't be afraid to move beyond your marriage...to be who you truly are inside....you don't need that marriage and safety net to define you
Anthony RObbins says....The past does not equal the future
you know this...
I think that in your marriage, you were like a canary in a cage...beautiful, singing and confined...you were happy because it was what you knew...now the door is open and it is exciting and scary and sad that the cage is gone...you know...no seeds right there BUT now you can pick your own seeds, sing where you want!!!! It is scary to be without that security blanket but so much more liberating and comfortable, in the end, to have made your own
