Model healthy behaviour. When he sees how boundaries work on him he will hopefully start use them. You might have to point out the behavior that is hurting your M several times.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
When he reads self-help books he points out to me all the things I'm doing wrong. He cannot seem to acknowledge his own issues. So I can't imagine he'd go to an IC unless I made that a condition or boundary or whatever that would be.
I'm tired.
He: WAH Me: LBW Precious: DD
~ I'm grateful for every day I have to improve the way I relate.
When he reads self-help books he points out to me all the things I'm doing wrong. He cannot seem to acknowledge his own issues. So I can't imagine he'd go to an IC unless I made that a condition or boundary or whatever that would be.
Good Lord!
Originally Posted By: LRT Land
I'm tired.
Why am I not surprised? Hang in there. Sometimes that's all one can do...for now.
Peace,
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
Just wanted to say thanks. H is seemingly coming out of his current funk faster than usual and I think it had something to do with me standing firm with my boundaries. I'm sure I didn't say/do things perfectly, but they seem to have stopped the ranting. This time.
He: WAH Me: LBW Precious: DD
~ I'm grateful for every day I have to improve the way I relate.
Do you think a healthy R can be had with a boundaryless person?
Not at all.
The moral of the story is that the boundaries swing both ways.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
The moral of the story is that the boundaries swing both ways.
Are you saying if I continue to enforce my boundaries that he will develop some of his own?
Here's one I have trouble with. When he's in these funks and I try to call him he doesn't answer the phone. If I leave a msg he doesn't return my call. It drives me crazy. I feel a strong urge to call again. What is best?
He: WAH Me: LBW Precious: DD
~ I'm grateful for every day I have to improve the way I relate.