You're not reconciling right now. Maybe you will be in the future, but for now you can't get ahead of yourself. Same with Retro... She might be in a good place in three weeks, or she might just string limbo along for another month or so.
Are you happy right now? Feel good about yourself? Focus on you. Not on her, or her actions. Focus on your son. Focus on making your life as stable without her, as full as fun as if you just had a near-death experience.
Your heart is going to keep shattering and repairing until she leaves for good. You need to detach.
