I am going to go look at places this weekend. I will get a better place situated for me and the kids, I have found a few complexes that are nice and welcome large dogs. Like I said I am feeling better every day. A buddy called me last night and invited me to a UFC party Saturday with a bunch of people form his Crossfit Gym. Should be a good time and meet new people.
From this point forward the only contact with the W will be all business and the kids. I will be cheerful and funny*which I have been). I agree that Rob has me on the right track. I read through more of his threads last night and it all makes more sense to me. As I was thinking last night, W is still attractive (physically) but the way she is acting I am losing the attraction mentally with her. I am starting to feel more of the why would I want to be with someone who is like her?
She hasnt done anything to change her ways, I could be the perfect H and she would still find reasons to complain about the M. I cant do it any more.
I think you really need to start asking yourself that question and force yourself to answer it after considering a few things:
- she cheated on you prior to your first separation - she never rebuilt that trust back - you got back together again probably for the kid's sake not your own - you have just been existing in this relationship, it isn't mutually fulfilling for either of you - she is making you jump through all these hoops to make you prove to her that you are a good man, good husband, good parent... how many hoops has she had to jump through to prove the same to you? - she's attractive physically, great, I get that and for men, this is a big factor, the male gender is visually motivated when it comes to attraction, we're hardwired to seek out physically attractive women: things like facial symmetry, boob size, bum size, waste size, leg length, calf size, hair color, eye color, height, weight all play into the big picture of what attracts men to women, that is reality that is how men are built. But what happens after the years go by and the shiny face of hers isn't as shiny anymore? You are left with this wife that has been treating you badly, manipulating you, making you believe that you have to work hard for her even though she cheated on you? And it worked too, she's pretty good at this. Is that part attractive to you? Someone who manipulates you and makes you feel bad for questioning the hurtful things she's done towards you?
