Well, since I haven't responded to H's last Email. He has just emailed me, wondering if his son Brandon could come over and get his Dad's gun cabinet and his wall gun cabinet. His way of making contact?
Two weeks ago, he told Brandon there was nothing else here he wanted.
Think I'll wait until tomorrow morning to respond. Simply answer, of course (Brandon can come get the cabinet, etc).
Thanks for this inspirational post. I give u a lot of credit all of the patience and discipline you had to get your h back. I have to work on having more patience. Did you keep yourself real busy and not think about what h was doing? I still have trouble with this. Its difficult to let go.
You did the right thing by not responding to 'the deal' that your H put out there. The man is nuttier than squirrel schitt.
His last email could have been his way of making contact. It's possible he's letting you know that since you apparently aren't agreeable to the deal, that he's wanting his stuff to show you that he doesn't intend on coming back and working on the M.
Love the way you're going to handle it.
Silly MLCer, thinking he can manipulate a spunky Punkin.
Personally...you addressed your issue of wanting him to "KNOW" way too soon...don't reply...bargaining with your life is a no win situation...no guarantee he will postpone anything...it is clearly him wanting what he wants and thinking by throwing you a bone (with barely a scrap of meat on it) that you will bite! It made you sound desperate...bottom line
As for the gun cabinet...I am torn on that...I would need at least a week to consider IF I was giving it or not since he told Brandon he didn't have anything else he wanted there...but again, I don't think I would reply for a LONG time...letting him think about his request...just like he is making you think about his...
You may certainly be right, but now I know he knows, and that has given me a certain degree of peace. As for the gun cabinet, I would never deny him that. It belonged to his Dad. It's really a cheap thing anyway. To me, it seems like he was scrambling for some other reason to contact me when I didn't return his last email. Perhaps I could just call Brandon and tell him his Dad wants these things and he can come get them. Then HE can call his Dad and tell him he's going to come get them, taking me out of the equation?
Perhaps I could just call Brandon and tell him his Dad wants these things and he can come get them. Then HE can call his Dad and tell him he's going to come get them, taking me out of the equation?
Good idea! After that, I would stop being tempted to send him the one "last" email, trying to reach the love he once had (and still does, but it's buried under so much cr*p, that it will take a crane to dig it out right now. He will have to slowly dig his way out). You've done it twice, just this week, I think??? Yes???
If you email him at all, it would be to say, "at this stage, the M isn't worth the paper you want me to sign, but I was willing to give it a bash, but now, no matter how I feel, you will have to beg me on your knees to take you back, and I know that that time will come, even if you won't admit it. You will want to, and I will be a lot kinder then you are being now." (My H did! Not that his humbleness lasted.)
Take care.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Going on the alt, man, I don't know. After what I went through on Facebook, it's sort of like having an aversion to a food after you barf it up. Don't think I can go there yet.
Take your time with this, but at some point you must face your demons.
SA is on the alt BTW. Maybe she will chime in on her thoughts. And when we do Little Friday it is not on the alt. I just don't know any other way to get you the info. Legally here on DB. The PM system does not work!
We are not allowed to share personal info here. Or we risk getting banned!
You sound much better. I think your idea re: the gun cabinet is a good one.
How's you take today for YOU. Have a drink...go have dinner with a friend. Just take it for you and give YOURSELF a little bit of a break.
It really it time for YOU P. Your H calls...you should be out or busy.
Oh....and as Grit pointed out....
Quote:
and get down to the real work
Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Pun...I understand your need to let him know...I wasn't saying that was wrong...I just think, and this is my own thought on this, that is was way too soon...there was no urgency to him...by waiting until closer to "the date" he might have been forced to dig a little...plus the whole signing of the waiver thing would have probably died down so as not to be part of the mix... Timing is everything in this... I would contact his son about the cabinet...I would be respectful and just tell him his dad asked for it and right now you don't want to get into a conversation that isn't necessary but you want him to have his cabinet so he (Brandon) is welcome to come and get it. And...personally I would not email anything like BeingMe suggested...I know for a fact in my situation that I would have gotten a D...that would have stuck in his head and there is no way he would have come back begging...he would have taken that as permission to finish it off!...but you know your H...I just really feel that very few actually return in such a dramatic way as begging...they really just want to slip back in and pretend it never happened...it isn't all about pride either...it is about dignity too...and as much as they might have trashed ours it is still important to preserve theirs...and I wouldn't have done that to my H even after what he did to me...it would have served no purpose other then to humiliate him...
