I posted many months ago on one of my threads about the hurt feelings I had that my kids were referring to Ed as Daddy or Daddy #2. I was given some great advice by the guy I work for (backed by his wife and mother) along with Mike in Tennessee. It all boils down to the DB principle of letting water fall off your back like a duck. And doing what creates the least amount of turmoil for your kids no matter how f'd up you percieve things.

You will always be your children's mother. Nothing will diminish your real role as their true loving mother. Period. But there is not much you can or should control in the relationship your kids have with their father and possible step-mother. As the Beatles once sang...When you find your self in times of trouble...Let It Be.

Your kids already know your dissatisfaction you have about H and GF. It is best to drop it and not ask or persuade them. It will only cause them extra conflict which they dont need during a difficult time of adolescence and teen years.

Originally Posted By: Donna...Found
Suffering is delayed acceptance, right?

Good observation. I am not a Buddhist (once married to one), but I do know that the 4 noble truths have suffering as the core...

1. Life means suffering.

2. The origin of suffering is attachment.

3. The cessation of suffering is attainable.

4. The path to the cessation of suffering.

I think part of the Eightfold Path of #4 could be interpreted as..."Let go or Be dragged". Hmmm....where did I read that phrase before?

Donna - I wish the confusion between your head and heart to mend and that you wish for no bad disappering to befall upon another. Life is too short to let the poor choices of others influence our path.

Strength and Honor - Strength to do the right thing even if it hurts you and Honor to do the right thing all of the time.