I know what you mean. The good thing, CD, is that you are still willing to act on the advice given and trust it! It may not be quite internalized yet, but it's tough when you're in the middle of the fire. The fact that you're willing to act against nature is SO critical! As long as you can do that, the internalization will come. That is why I'm so big on actions: people (especially waywards) let their feelings guide their actions. It's a psychological fact that it is much healthier to let your actions lead you into feeling. Much more difficult, but that's what is most productive in our lives.
SO: don't be disappointed in yourself! You're allowed human feelings. We all are. If we didn't care, weren't hurt, didn't second guess and have fear, we would be robots OR we wouldn't be here on these boards trying to save our marriages.
I do hate when the mind races, esp. at night. I try to read something funny or empowering when that happens - or watch the comedy channel! lol
