M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
i dont see anything under coach's post???? or is that the way it should be?
nevermind...
Last edited by didthehurt; 08/26/1008:01 PM.
me 36 W 33 s-6 s-4 together since 1991 married Dec 2000 9years first affair before we where married. Second affair 1/2007 Gone Nov,2007 Back June 2008. ILYBNILY---i cannot believe you did this 7/22/2010
Enough! Let her move her @ss out if she's so F'ing "miserable."
She has become the emotional abuser in this sitch.
Since when has there been a statue of limitations on a broken heart or the pain of being cheated on?
The Kübler-Ross model, commonly known as the five stages of grief, modified,
Denial - you are allowed 2 -3 weeks to get with the program Anger - you are allowed a few occasional outbursts only Bargaining - 15 minutes. Just tell me what you are going to give me on my trade in. Depression - not allowed? Acceptance - <= 3years
Enough! Let her move her @ss out if she's so F'ing "miserable."
She has become the emotional abuser in this sitch.
Since when has there been a statue of limitations on a broken heart or the pain of being cheated on?
The Kübler-Ross model, commonly known as the five stages of grief, modified,
Denial - you are allowed 2 -3 weeks to get with the program Anger - you are allowed a few occasional outbursts only Bargaining - 15 minutes. Just tell me what you are going to give me on my trade in. Depression - not allowed? Acceptance - <= 3years
The problem was during the time when she came back we went to a C for about 8 sessions. then school started and she never came back to the C. that was Sept 2008 through april 2010, she seemed to be doing fine, we even went on a road trip all the way to florida to disney with her family (set of 1yrold twins,2-5yrolds, and a 3yrold) her sister and husband, and their parents. Even went without a plan on where to stop..etc But anyway, until april 2010 i thought everything was going good. I was still seening a C every monday more about my addiction problems then anything else. One evening we have a argument and she says she had started seeing a C, that had put her on Zoloft. July 24 i come back from a work trip and she says she wants me out...shes done doesnt want to work on anything anymore...
me 36 W 33 s-6 s-4 together since 1991 married Dec 2000 9years first affair before we where married. Second affair 1/2007 Gone Nov,2007 Back June 2008. ILYBNILY---i cannot believe you did this 7/22/2010
Very much like my sitch, DTH (just time-shifted 3 months, this happened to me back in late April). My W also decided she wanted out after she started therapy and got put onto antidepressants. Maybe the antidepressants helps energize them to take action on something that had been eating away at them (or the C helps them to crystallize thoughts/feelings that had been eating away at them but that they hadn't quite integrated or made a plan of action on).
You know, even the timing of your affair is similar to the timing of mine (our youngest kids were each around 1 year old). I think we hurt them at an especially vulnerable time (when kiddos are young and they are just a little post-pregnancy and still out of sorts). Try to be empathetic with that and when she unleashes her spew and anger on you, don't spew back or argue or reason with her. She's coming from a hurt and angry place -- don't escalate the hurt and angry. Just validate her feelings and agree with her that there's no way things could work between the two of you the way things are. If she's CRAZY spewing (beyond validation level even), just listen and, if you have to, walk away.
Me-53 W-49 D22,D18,D15 T-Since-12/2001 Married-9/2004 She Moved Out-5/28/2010 Piecing start-04/2011 Now-together Thread http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2079304
ahh tonite i call for the boys tell them goodnight listen about their day. Then she starts talking says i never did the things she asked. She wanted to merge email accounts a few years back. I told I tried, but tech services couldn't make it happen. I gave her my password to my account. She tells me NOW well that wasnt good enough you should have just cancelled it and just gotten us another one together. I said well that was not what you said to do. Bad communication......our biggest problem... She also said she wanted me to stop playing softball. I said ok let me just finish this season. I'm the coach. I stopped she never noticed or said anything. I asked her for us to start playing softball together like we used to she said no. I asked well lets workout together -she said no, I said lets go cycling together-said no, running- no, walking- no, hunting-no, scrapbooking- no...Then finally i had enough i had been going f-ing crazy doing absoultly nothing together. This summer i said i signed us up for softball, she just laughed. Then when i said its game 1 she said she wasnt going i had made my grave i was gonna lie in it....So now with my GAL plan i want to play softball, but now i dont know if that is a good idea or not. That is compounded because when i had an affair i need girls and she didnt want to play so i made the mistake of asking the OW to come play and help out. We had already stopped the PA, and she had come to play. Anyway the W shows up and gets upset for obvious reasons....i look back now and wonder why the hell someone didnt slap the $%^& out of me...i have lost my way....
me 36 W 33 s-6 s-4 together since 1991 married Dec 2000 9years first affair before we where married. Second affair 1/2007 Gone Nov,2007 Back June 2008. ILYBNILY---i cannot believe you did this 7/22/2010
Sounds to me like all those previous no's of hers were her suppressed resentment and anger at you from the affair, no?
While GAL is supposed to be for yourself, if the softball has historical bad associations with it in terms of affair, it might not be the wisest thing to GAL with given that there are plenty of other things you could do to improve yourself. If you met your OW at a bar, would you then go out dancing weekly at that bar while separated from your wife? I mean REALLY? Heck, in essence this is what I did by continuing to play computer games after I had had EAs with people I met in the computer games. Look where that got me.
Me-53 W-49 D22,D18,D15 T-Since-12/2001 Married-9/2004 She Moved Out-5/28/2010 Piecing start-04/2011 Now-together Thread http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2079304
