"And I shake my head at the veiled assertion that Donna has somehow been a terrible person for not embracing people known to be treacherous."
NoCode,
Can you tone down the rhetoric a bit? I am certainly not suggesting that Donna is a terrible person, nor is anyone else as far as I can see. Nor am I suggesting that Donna accept her XH or his GF with open arms. I think they'd be far better off keeping things strictly business. Nor do I think she has reason to trust either of them with her welfare. They have built no trust with her.
The question is: what is within her control to make her kids' life better?
The answer is: she can gain some compassion for XH and GF to get further down the road to forgiveness.
It does no good for any of them for her to remain in a hypervigilant state of war against an enemy in a battle that no longer exists.
