Well, at least you acknowledge and admit what you've done wrong. It's time for you to see an IC regularly and figure out why you've had 2 blown marriages and feel so bad you had to have an affair. Call it an EA or PA- it's still an affair to the other person. Stop spying on her and DETACH. Continue to read from the vets and post more 180s- specific ones. E.g., you seem to travel and work so much- to me, that seems a huge problem in terms of maintaining a stable R. Have you thought about balancing your life a LOT more- when on earth do you make time to see your kids??
