Relocated the family and he dropped the bomb

[steady]

MM, first I want to tell you what you did took courage. A lot of courage. Jumping out into the dark unknown is scary and many people don't ever take the leap, they are pushed there by their sitch.

He said why don't I just get an apartment and save the money? I said do you really want to jump to that point? Are you telling me you are done and we are not trying at all for the girls?

No MM. You are telling him YOU ARE DONE. This put a crack in your boundary but you can shore it back up. Don't let him decide what's going on. Take ALL of your power back. "I will not live in an open marriage. I am done. You are choosing what you want and I do not want to be a part of it."

I think Greek did a good job of pointing you in the right direction. The questioning about him bringing up an apartment was a moment of weakness for you. You drew the boundary, he called you on it and went further with it than you anticipated. Ok, just breath and understand what happened. It's ok.

Next time you might want to say, "Why are you asking me? Do whatever you want. Hotel, apartment, it's your choice. It's your life and you've made your choice. I have my own plans to make and I can't be bothered helping you figure out yours."

Your tendency is going to be wanting to crack. Make a plan. Figure out what you want.

I assume you don't want a husband who has OW. That's obvious to me. Now, assuming he keeps up this nonsense what are you going to do?

Make a schedule of when he takes the kids so you have time to do things for yourself. Let him feel what it's like to be a 'single' dad. And I'm not talking about 30 minutes here and there. Let him feel what it's like to be working the job he has and having to take care of two young children.

Let him feel what's it like to not have a W standing there while he cake-eats.

Let you feel what it's like to focus on you and getting YOUR needs met.