All I meant, NM, was if I am upfront with a potential man about where I am at with things in my life (ex: separation/divorce/my health and sort of where my head space is)I feel that is very honest. Chances are where I am at won't change overnight or in a month or maybe even 6 months and when they change it will have to be at my pace. I have been through hell and in the area of romantic R's I do feel *I* need it to go slow. I understand if somebody wants or needs more at a more rapid pace but right now I just can't speed things along. As I continue to feel more 'normal' about a new man then I will feel less inclined to sort of keep things at a slow crawl. For now though that is where I am at.

I know I have flaws (do I ever, lol!) and I have worked on them but what I meant was I don't want to feel pressured to mold myself into something just because my new boyfriend's ex spouse did (or did not do) something different. Certain things, over time of course, I might be able to become more flexible on but I don't want to have to radically change who I am working to become for the sake of intimate R. It could be something small or something major. And if it comes up I will be happy to discuss it but I don't want to be the one always making all the concessions again.

Make sense?