She's in MLC, but I was weak. Now what?

[crushednstuck]

Eric, you're prolific and I appreciate the attention to my sitch. However, I don't really care what she's doing. She's proven herself unpredictable and hateful and the realization that I can't change her was made crystal clear.
I'm just saying that I'm tired of looking, emoting, thinking, reading. I'm afraid I don't care enough about my marriage anymore to put the effort in. I do want to be released from this person that I seemingly have nothing in common with, except our kids.
I am willing to hang on to find out more about myself for my sake. I've already strayed and feel almost no guilt about it. Yet I'm scared of the loneliness. It can't possibly be lonelier than I already am. I alternate between wanting to peek out from beneath the skirt of the M and shying away from any contact with anyone except my W. I'm hoping there's more to her than what I've seen during the M and the horror of the last year.