Pretty successful! I made a pseudo-OK dinner (pretty impressed with myself) and did it ALL BY MYSELF. W ate all of it, so it wasn't bad. In the 4.5 years we've been M, I've cooked in the kitchen all by myself maybe, oh, 10 times.
Big eye opener for her.
After dinner played outside with kid. She was staring in the garage at her drumset, looking around at all her things in there. I saw her start to cry and I looked at her with the, "What's going on?" She said nothing, that she didn't want to talk about it.
Played inside for a while. She walked and sat down in front of the piano. She starting playing beautifully as I was giving my son a bath. The music filled the house. It was bliss. I'm going to miss that. I admit, I got a few tears in my eyes with hearing her play the piano, and that music filling my home.
So - Melty Man didn't make an appearance. That's good. After S4 was in bed, we sat down for a little. I asked her why she was so upset. She said nothing - I looked at her for about 20 seconds and she just started to cry.
"I just really miss my house," tears coming down her face.
Well no sh~t woman. You live in a 10x10 room now at your aunts with 3 other people, not including our son. What did you expect? That's EXACTLY what you wanted to do from D-day. Of course though, I didn't say any of that.
I just said, "Oh."
She asked who was coming over on Friday night. I kind of ignored her - she then asked what were we doing at my 'party'. I said it's not a party, it just a hang. She then asked AGAIN who was coming. I didn't answer. She said, "FINE, Nevermind!! You just ignore me"
I got some kahunas up for once and said, "I'm not answering because I feel like you're asking just so you can check up on me and see what I'm doing."
"I don't care what you do, John" she replied.
Yeah, right.
Oh - and she called the Retrouvialle people with me and told them that she was open to coming. Granted she's not happy about going at all, believe me, but she's going.
Last edited by john28; 08/27/1001:28 AM.
----"Et tu, Brute?"---- me:28 W:24 S4 T:6 M:4 EA Exposed: 5/21/10 Bomb: 6/20/10 (Father's Day) NC w/ OM: 7/10/10 W moved out 8/21/10 http://bit.ly/aOrZne - My sitch
No, she went to a mutual friend of ours house after she left. I called her husband just to 'chat' and he said that our W's had been talking earlier today and they were hanging out tonight.
Even if she was online - I wouldn't check. Not tonight.
----"Et tu, Brute?"---- me:28 W:24 S4 T:6 M:4 EA Exposed: 5/21/10 Bomb: 6/20/10 (Father's Day) NC w/ OM: 7/10/10 W moved out 8/21/10 http://bit.ly/aOrZne - My sitch
She also is really upset that I told our mutual friends that she had an A. REALLY upset. She asked me not to tell them, and I did. She keeps saying
"You told my ONLY friends here in this area something I told you not to! They were MY ONLY FRIENDS. I'm just so ANGRY about it."
Well, I'm tired of lying to cover up your affair. I will say when they found out the whole story, they understood it a whole lot better. They then saw why she was a WAW
Last edited by john28; 08/27/1001:36 AM.
----"Et tu, Brute?"---- me:28 W:24 S4 T:6 M:4 EA Exposed: 5/21/10 Bomb: 6/20/10 (Father's Day) NC w/ OM: 7/10/10 W moved out 8/21/10 http://bit.ly/aOrZne - My sitch
John your W and my W are both manipulators. You need to be firmer on the detaching, since W and I separated its been a lot different. I dont want to hurt your feelings, but you have paid for the retro retreat, she can keep you under her thumb for another 3 weeks. i think it was a bad idea to book it. My opinion. Someone who wants to work on M does not tell their H you can do what ever you want. If I told my W hey I wanna book a trip for us in a month, write now she would waffle, if I booked it she would know that I will be waiting in the wings another month, in her control then the day of meeting at the airport> would she show up? can she just not show up and then what? My point is my W is trying to control my life by laying guilt on me for mvoing own. She wants to control my every move and the further I get along she is not and its getting under her skin.
I know you say you didnt get all melty man, but the way you wrote about her playing the piano, was a bit melty. I dont want to come off as a pr!ck, but some of the criticism you will get is harsh, TH pin and ROb have all dealt me a few blows and it took a while to wake up. You are still in a dream, I dont want to hurt your feelings but I think you exagerate how firm you are with her to keep people replying here, your wife is still in complete control. Sorry to be so BLUNT again my opinion, I think PDT and a few others would agree with me.
I think you handled everything very well. What did she play on the piano?
Handel. I don't know the piece by name because she plays from memory. But I do know it by heart.
As far as being all gushy about the piano playing - I didn't do that except only in my head. I came here to write it so I don't tell her later. It's kind of an outlet.
Last edited by john28; 08/27/1001:55 AM.
----"Et tu, Brute?"---- me:28 W:24 S4 T:6 M:4 EA Exposed: 5/21/10 Bomb: 6/20/10 (Father's Day) NC w/ OM: 7/10/10 W moved out 8/21/10 http://bit.ly/aOrZne - My sitch
I know you come here to vent, but you also write what you think your W is thinking, I do the same thing, if you go back over it you make yourself believe you know what she is thinking. it is counterproductive. I have gone from missing my W, to missing my kids more. That makes me feel a bit better. I had my kids last night, I did not think about the W, she kept texting me, but I was focused on the kids. Tonight you were focused on the W and what she was thinking.
you were giving your son a bath and still focused on the W. It seemed the whole night was about the W. A couple weeks ago W and I took kids to see toy story 3 I was focused on the kids not the W. Ya i have been back and forth since then, but as everyone has said you need to focus on YOU and S, right now and going forward.
Do you ever think your W did the piano thing to get your attention and rub it in a bit? she doesnt know how you post here, but obviously it got to you. Trust me she knows it did, she doesnt have to read your post to know it. My W does the same thing, she is a beautiful woman, and when I started to detach a bit, she would get made up wear sexy clothes and stuff, it was to get to me. A little different than your W playing the piano, but its all manipulative in some way. I hope I am making sense.
