Still trying to find my way

[Mystik]

H e-mailed me today, said he wanted to know about taking DS overnight and since I pointed out week before last how he keeps switching out Thursdays he would make this one longer. I didn't answer it right away, then an hour and a half later he e-mailed that he had been expecting a response by then but he was only kidding with me, he couldn't really take DS overnight. Didn't respond to that one either. I also didn't e-mail him about changing the visitation, work was hectic today. I spent more time away from my desk today than I did at my desk.

The exchange... When they got there DS was crying. I asked him what was wrong and he was sad. H said that he and DS had talked ahout H and me. DS got in the car and said he was sad because H doesn't want to be my husband anymore. H went to leave, then came back to talk to DS. He told DS he felt bad leaving while he was crying and DS said to him that he just wants Daddy to stay my husband forever. H tried to explain that it's going to stay the same, that DS and I will still live where we live and H will still live where he lives. He said he thought DS liked where H lived, liked going over to visit and DS said yes, but he would rather H stayed my husband and lived with us. H said that even though we won't be husband and wife anymore that it doesn't change how we feel about DS. DS said he knows, but he still wants Daddy to stay my husban forever. So H told him that you can't always get what you want.

H then left and I left too. As I was pulling away DS was sobbing, crying "Why Daddy, why?" It killed me to see my baby hurting so much from his father's actions.