Shakedown Street

[newmama]

My H needed constant attention, reassurance and coddling despite his HUGE ego. Maybe that *is* a man thing but it's not something I will do again on the level I had to ever again. It's exhausting.

Sounds familiar. My stbxh didn't have a huge ego but he did need those things, I believe....and then went elsewhere? My SIL's H had a huge ego and needed those things and he cheated but came back to her. I see that my other friends' Hs (and they are still married) do need approval and attention...like they need admiration and acknowledgment of the amazing job they do. My girlfriends aren't the best at doing that for them...they say they have enough children to take care of. Right now, I know better than to put ALL MEN into a BOX but I do feel exhausted at the idea of taking care of a man in a relationship. barf!!!!!!

I know everybody deals with things in different ways but it has been enlightening to me to see how some people can envision a new "instant" family or R or to expect/assume/hope a rapid pace is best despite lots of upfront honesty.

I was just curious as to what you meant by "rapid pace despite lots of upfront honesty." WOuld you please elaborate, CG?

I can talk to somebody all day about experiences or ideas but I have enough to work on for ME and don't want to be molded into an ideal person due to the issues somebody else had. That goes both ways I guess.

THIS is a good point for ALL OF US! (sorry, I know it is YOUR thread! :)) But I am very confused personally about what do to do improve because we all have areas to improve, and what if I am trying to change something that isn't bad to someone else because I thought it was bad because stbxh didn't like it?