Did she enjoy her duplicity? No, I think she felt really guilty, that others would think she was a slut (hence her exact words to me). She wasn't sorry for what she did, she was sorry that she was caught and it made her look bad, sort of thing.
I agree with the idea that she didn't think she broke up our marriage - the fact is, she did. She looked at it from the outside and declared it dead, then talked more and more with x until he saw it, too (do you remember the NPD diagnosis and how the IC said I was his "object" until I lost credibility in his eyes?) and just became vocal about my "poor husband" and what he had to put up with me......She told herself, and then they told each other, that they were married to horrible people and they deserved better.
Ick....it so doesn't matter, anyway. Knowing what I was dealing with in him and his problems, I do know (well, my head knows) that I am better off out of the marriage. This is more about how I am dealing with the present situation; the exposure to my kids.
The thing is, I don't like her, I don't trust her, she doesn't deserve to be a part of my children's lives, and I actually fear for them about any exposure and influence she might try to wield. My intuition screams at me and makes me want to lash out when I see her (I don't, verbally or otherwise). She is a bad person. She grew up in this town, and I have been caught off-guard when I stumble across more stories about what she has done in her life besides this- apparently, this wasn't out of character for her. Yes, there is evil in the world, and some of my coping mechanisms kept me blind to a lot of it for a very long time. I have a bumper sticker that says "Mean people suck." This isn't the first time that I have been blindsided, because the possibilities of people not being "nice" just never occurs to me.
I don't want to fall asleep again to this, when it has to do with my kids.
