I can feel your guilt in your post. I know it well. Lived it for a long time and sometime still do.
I see that you want to work on the things that your H said that sting. I get it. What I think you need to do...is really sit back and thing about the things in your life, in your persona that YOU want to change. You see, our spouses have a way of making us feel like dog dodo. We begin to believe it. We begin to think that everything about us is wrong, broken. It is not. What your H is doing is projecting his issues on to you. You see, in order for him to remain angry at you...he need to focus on his reality, which right now is skewed.
Tell ya what though....work on you and I mean really work on you and you will begin to feel better. You will. Does that mean that bills that are piling up go away - no. It just means that you will feel better.
Your confidence is shot...i can tell by your post. IB - you need not feel this way. Your a women, your a mom but you should also feel like a women (hey wasn't that a song)...do things that make YOU feel better. Get your nails done - hell get your toes done. Something anything so that you feel better. That feeling may only last for a short while but you will begin to appreciate them and appreciate yourself.
Finally, you are standing for your M. That hon' is an attractive quality. You may feel alone today. You may be afraid that you will be alone tomorrow BUT you really do not know.
You know...this time that we have, when we detach and I mean truly detach..we begin to realize things about ourselves, we begin to realize things about love. We grow...we cry...we laugh...
it is the flow that is life.
THis is hard IB - but believe it or not you are doing better than you think.
God Bless Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
