Hi ris, ummm, I don't actually think you're doing anything wrong here. I think the fact that you've been validating, instead of trying to fix, has had the effect of not allowing him to blame you for his unhappiness. Yes he's still lashing out at you, because he likely feels 'safe' doing so. Not justified whatsoever, but usually when we're hurt, the ones we love 'hear about it' first.

I think the reason his unhappiness is 'ramping up' is because now that he has no one to 'blame'. Perhaps he's finally feeling the weight of his unhappiness with work, squarely on the shoulders of the ONLY person who can do something about it - him.

What are your thoughts?

I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.