FTR...your posted appeared on my crackberry and when I read I just about got into a car accident - LOL.
Pun this may hurt and remember it is only MY OPINION.
First - I hate to tell you but YOUR H already knows that you want your M. Your actions have said this!
2 - What is the old saying never believe what they say and only 50 % of what they do.
3 - Why would you EVEN consider an extension? On mean seriously...are you afraid that he may leave? Are you afraid that you can't wait?
4 - What DO YOU want? Are you going to be satisfied with an extension?
I am not going to tell you what to do - ah...F it I am...I would NOT respond at all.
Punkin - I am sorry...You are still looking at your H. You still think that something YOU do will snap his as* out of it. I know where you are...been there done dat!
Nothing you do will snap him out. Not an email that says I love..I miss you...nothing - only He can snap himself out.
You may not like my post - but please know that I care about you. I want nothing but the best for you.
Save you...work on you....let him work on him.
I am sorry If this was not the response you wanted.
Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Oh...and one other thing....If the spunky you is back...well then I know you know what your answer should be...that IMO is to tell him Kiss My A** - No.... don't tell him directly...tell him by living your life...show him by being a women that he is a fool to leave...don't tell him jack...SHOW HIM.
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Hey Punkin - congrats for making a decision - I know it has been tough for you.
I am no expert - but my gut says do not respond at all. You made it clear that you were willing to work on the marriage. He KNOWS. That's all you can do. I would not encourage you to engage any more. The fact that he has offered to postpone IF you do this or that - tells me that he knows he's in a mess. Live your life - make it great WITHOUT him. See what happens.
Hope I can follow my own advice -
M-48/XH-48 M=25/T=28 years Ds-24,22/S-18 D - 3/11 A Day at a Time
one more thing and I am sorry if I am pissing you off or raining on your parade or taking away your hope. YOU SHOULD STILL HAVE HOPE.
- My wife said she would not file until Sept..she filed in April - My wife said that she would not go for alimony - she wants everything - My wife said that she would never involve another person - she did - My wife said that we would mediate - she hired a lawyer - My wife said she wanted to stay in the house after the D - she is now looking at home in another town - My wife said that she would never hurt me - 'nough said - My wife said that I am a great dad - yet she will not give me a 50/50 split
I can go on and on...now here is the kicker...most of this happened when I pushed..when I thought I could figure it out..when I though I could do something.
That's my story - every one of ours is different - you choose - this is your choice.
Now I am hoping for a spunky response!
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Yes, I knew that No Response was the best response, but I just had to hear it from my wise friends. Eric, I love your response. True, truer words were never spoken, Irish, you ARE an expert, as much as anyone can be living through this crap.
Sweetie, do not respond. DO NOT. What is it that you hope to accomplish by doing this? Do you think that if you send messages enough times his answer is going to be different?
He doesnt know which way is up right now, let alone being able to committ to you in anyway. He is answering you. You are not hearing him.
I know it's hard to hear that. I know it's not what you want to hear. I know that. But continuing to do this is putting pressure on someone who is not able to handle it.
He is going to just dig in and pull further away.
So, now you said it clearly. He heard you clearly, right?
No need to repeat yourself. You put it out there. He received it.
Now you need to go about the business of living your life. You need to really and truly let him go. He needs to walk this journey. You need to let him.
And you need to walk yours. You are spunky, funny, smart. Do your thing, girl.
I take a natural sleep aid called "Lights Out" the health food store guy reccommeded it, It works really well. I tried melatonin but didn't work as well. I've been taking it for 2 yrs. I can't sleep with out it.
